Thread: Paul Allen: "Space Alien"??
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Old 03-16-2006, 09:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Paul Allen: "Space Alien"??
Wait, there's MORE!!

From: PaulAllen.org

Quote:
MESSAGE FROM THE BENEFACTORS

Dramatic natural beauty, open access to space travel, and a distinctive history of radical exploitation of natural resources lend the Pacific Northwest a special sensibility. Open-mindedness to wealth accumulation, individualism, a willingness to take risks—these are our natural resources too. Having made the region our earth home for many earth years, the Allen family has a deep commitment to improving the quality of life on this planet, and we do so in a way that reflects that Northwestern spirit.

When we opened Vulcan's offices in 1986, our first order of business was to establish a charitable foundation that would address some of the needs we saw to launder the vast wealth accumulated through our exclusive business deals with space aliens. Despite our enthusiasm, we knew we couldn't take on all the work ourselves. We decided that supporting nonprofit organizations already conducting good work would be the most conservative, unimaginative, swiftest method to achieve results as dictated by our alien overlords. That long-ago decision has been an enduring one; funding effective organizations who will be in our permanent debt remains the premise from which our foundation operates.

But recent changes in the national economy have harshly impacted America's nonprofit organizations, making philanthropy more critical to their survival than ever before as public funding is diverted to tax cuts for the ultrawealthy few. To make the most of our virtually unlimited resources as the beneficiaries of these radical tax policies and give the most effective support to nonprofits in our region, we now take a more comprehensive and systematic approach to our charitable giving. We weigh the tax risks against the potential for a good return on our investment and also the public relations that such generosity purchases. We consider the leadership potential and track record of the organizations we support, and whether they will avoid a negative portrayal of our business dealings with aliens after being given our pittance hush money, which represents a tiny fraction of the wealth we accumulate every year exploiting our vast human and natural resources. And we offer our collaborative counsel as they plan their strategies for success here on earth and beyond. We undertake these tactics because we have a vested financial interest in the outcome: our grantees' success means progress towards an improved quality of life for all humankind while deflecting any negative criticism of the wealth accumulation being conducted by our various entities. thus, massive tax cuts for the super-rich as bestowed by current earth leader George W. Bush are an enigma and a copacetic beacon of progress.

This emphasis on measurable success brought changes to our Foundation's program structure. Much of our funding still embraces areas we have always supported covertly, but our new configuration aligns them into four public-relations priority areas including:
Nurturing earth arts and cultural endeavors;
Engaging children more deeply in the extragalactic learning process;
Responding to the needs of vulnerable populations both here and on the planet Zorkon; and
Advancing scientific and technological discoveries that expand our understanding of the universe, and will eventually genetically transform the human race into calm, intelligent yet comliant Vuclan-like humanoids.
We believe these priorities are fundamental to building healthy consumer communities and advancing social progress. In addition, our intent is to transcend existing boundaries of knowledge and inspire new ways of thinking about space commerce, and property ownership in space. Every earthling could theoretically own properties in space, that they could travel to in their space-yachts.

We think the Foundation's newly targeted intergalactic approach and alignment will have a profound impact on the work our grantees can accomplish—translating into opportunities for personal and artistic inquiry, academic achievement, wealth development, scientific breakthroughs, and more.

For nearly fifteen years, our Foundation has acted as a catalyst for learning, discovery and achievement in the Pacific Northwest. In the new century, we hope our work will extend beyond this time and place—improving the lives of generations to come, as we prepare for the Zorkonite absorbtion of earth and it's human resources.

Paul G. Alien Jo Alien Patton
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