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Old 12-07-2012, 10:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
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My Personal Plea To Bruce Pearl

(Bruce) Pearl hunting in Maine

Dear Coach Pearl:

As a long time suffering fan of the state’s only D1 program, The University of Maine Black Bear Men’s basketball team, I am writing you begging for your assistance. I’m sure you’re not aware of this, but I’m sad to say that UMaine Men’s Basketball holds the embarrassing distinction of having the longest streak of futility of any D1 team in the history of college basketball. Yes, you heard that correctly, the history of college basketball.

The UMaine Basketball program was established in 1904, and is the only program to have never been to a post-season tournament (NCAA, NIT, CBI, CIT, heck even the CSI if there was such a thing) or to have won a conference title.

In fact, the past 7 seasons (soon to be 8) have been extremely frustrating; as the team has posted 7 consecutive 1 & done’s in the America East Tourney, which is one of the weakest conferences in the country. It’s not like there hasn’t been any talent, but more about grossly underachieving talent, and fans are calling for the firing of 9 yr head coach, Ted Woodward, whom I jokingly refer to as ‘Mr. March’, based on his woeful record during that month.

So on behalf of Black Bear Nation I am begging you to please come and save this once proud program (which was once proclaimed one of the toughest places for opponents to play by Sports Illustrated,) by returning back to your New England roots to help lead UMaine to the NCAA Tourney Promised Land, thus erasing the Zero Postseason & Zero Conference Titles streak of futility that is now going on 94 seasons.

IMO the end to this streak is VERY attainable now that perennial conference power Boston Univ is leaving for another conference, so needless to say now is the time to strike.

The America East Conference, or as I like to refer to it as The America Least Conference, is one of the easiest portals into the NCAA Tournament, and my feeling is that you, Mr. Pearl are just the man who can take this program to the Promised Land almost immediately.

I am confident that just the mention of your name alone is enough to attract a much higher level of recruit and/or transfers immediately, so the issue of you not being able to recruit because of NCAA sanctions is a moot point in the America Least Conference.

As an added bonus, after you lead UMaine and its fans to the ‘Dance’, you will become one of the most coveted coaches in the country once again, which will culminate with a huge payday down the road, and both you and UMaine Basketball will become the darlings of The NCAA Tournament similar to Vermont back in mid 2000.

In fact, I am so confident that I can envision the 16th seeded UMaine Black Bears pulling off the unthinkable, becoming the first 16 seed to defeat a #1 seed in NCAA history. (Okay, that was a bit overboard I admit, but it’s winter now, and in Maine we get a little bit stir crazy, me more so than others)

Anyway, in my humble opinion I feel this is the PERFECT job for you to get back on the NCAA coaching horse, and ride Cinderella’s pony all the way to the Big ‘Dance’ for the ailing fans of UMaine.

p.s. There’s also a chance that a local 6’ 9” Maine kid who is graduating from a Big East program with 1 year of eligibility left could be persuaded to attend grad school at UMaine, which would instantly make him a Conf POY candidate to accompany a current Sophomore, Justin Edwards, who last season was named one of the top 12 freshman in the country by ESPN, who is in the running for that same honor this season.

I look forward to seeing you on the sidelines with your body painted Maine Sky Blue and donning your patented wig.

Sincerely,

NostraJimus
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:47 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: My Personal Plea To Bruce Pearl

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Originally Posted by Nostrajimus View Post
(Bruce) Pearl hunting in Maine

Dear Coach Pearl:

As a long time suffering fan of the state’s only D1 program, The University of Maine Black Bear Men’s basketball team, I am writing you begging for your assistance. I’m sure you’re not aware of this, but I’m sad to say that UMaine Men’s Basketball holds the embarrassing distinction of having the longest streak of futility of any D1 team in the history of college basketball. Yes, you heard that correctly, the history of college basketball.

The UMaine Basketball program was established in 1904, and is the only program to have never been to a post-season tournament (NCAA, NIT, CBI, CIT, heck even the CSI if there was such a thing) or to have won a conference title.

In fact, the past 7 seasons (soon to be 8) have been extremely frustrating; as the team has posted 7 consecutive 1 & done’s in the America East Tourney, which is one of the weakest conferences in the country. It’s not like there hasn’t been any talent, but more about grossly underachieving talent, and fans are calling for the firing of 9 yr head coach, Ted Woodward, whom I jokingly refer to as ‘Mr. March’, based on his woeful record during that month.

So on behalf of Black Bear Nation I am begging you to please come and save this once proud program (which was once proclaimed one of the toughest places for opponents to play by Sports Illustrated,) by returning back to your New England roots to help lead UMaine to the NCAA Tourney Promised Land, thus erasing the Zero Postseason & Zero Conference Titles streak of futility that is now going on 94 seasons.

IMO the end to this streak is VERY attainable now that perennial conference power Boston Univ is leaving for another conference, so needless to say now is the time to strike.

The America East Conference, or as I like to refer to it as The America Least Conference, is one of the easiest portals into the NCAA Tournament, and my feeling is that you, Mr. Pearl are just the man who can take this program to the Promised Land almost immediately.

I am confident that just the mention of your name alone is enough to attract a much higher level of recruit and/or transfers immediately, so the issue of you not being able to recruit because of NCAA sanctions is a moot point in the America Least Conference.

As an added bonus, after you lead UMaine and its fans to the ‘Dance’, you will become one of the most coveted coaches in the country once again, which will culminate with a huge payday down the road, and both you and UMaine Basketball will become the darlings of The NCAA Tournament similar to Vermont back in mid 2000.

In fact, I am so confident that I can envision the 16th seeded UMaine Black Bears pulling off the unthinkable, becoming the first 16 seed to defeat a #1 seed in NCAA history. (Okay, that was a bit overboard I admit, but it’s winter now, and in Maine we get a little bit stir crazy, me more so than others)

Anyway, in my humble opinion I feel this is the PERFECT job for you to get back on the NCAA coaching horse, and ride Cinderella’s pony all the way to the Big ‘Dance’ for the ailing fans of UMaine.

p.s. There’s also a chance that a local 6’ 9” Maine kid who is graduating from a Big East program with 1 year of eligibility left could be persuaded to attend grad school at UMaine, which would instantly make him a Conf POY candidate to accompany a current Sophomore, Justin Edwards, who last season was named one of the top 12 freshman in the country by ESPN, who is in the running for that same honor this season.

I look forward to seeing you on the sidelines with your body painted Maine Sky Blue and donning your patented wig.

Sincerely,

NostraJimus
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: My Personal Plea To Bruce Pearl

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You are intellectually disabled.
Thank you for the kind words.
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:41 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: My Personal Plea To Bruce Pearl

Watch the personal attacks BU Fan.


Not sure Bruce Pearl would be eying Maine for his next stop obviously, but he's definitely a guy that can turn a program around. I lived in the Milwaukee area when he coached at UWM and he brought a lot of excitement to that program.
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Old 12-07-2012, 12:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: My Personal Plea To Bruce Pearl

Pearl probably would win more games and get Maine into the post-season somewhere. Right now, Maine has the horses to win some races. They just don't have a winning driver.

This would probably be good for the conference PR efforts, too.

The only problem is that Pearl is not likely to work for the chump change that Maine pays.
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: My Personal Plea To Bruce Pearl

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Originally Posted by Dornado View Post
Watch the personal attacks BU Fan.


Not sure Bruce Pearl would be eying Maine for his next stop obviously, but he's definitely a guy that can turn a program around. I lived in the Milwaukee area when he coached at UWM and he brought a lot of excitement to that program.
I'm offended that there is somewhere defending nostrajimus as not being intellectually disabled.

Unless you are defending the intellectually disabled from being associated with nostrajimus, in which case, I understand.
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