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Old 09-06-2006, 12:04 PM   #826 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

The owner of a golf course in Lufkin was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The University of Texas and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings." You gotta love those East Texas women.

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A group of Tyler friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

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A senior at Texas A&M was overheard saying. "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in East Texas. When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in East Texas because everything happens in East Texas 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

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The young man from Texas A&M came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

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NEWS FLASH! -Brian/College Station's worst disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Texas A&M students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.

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A Texas State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-20.
The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

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A man in Beaumont had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down on the highway, they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back...I never did unnerstand it neither."
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Old 09-06-2006, 07:34 PM   #827 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by _Dre_
But that really sucks Jet. I got pissed when I couldn't play kickball in gym class, luckily I've never had any serious injury, I don't know what I'd do. Can I ask why your friends were tackling you?
Yeah... um, my friend and I were playing basketball.. well, I wanted to play but she was just throwing up half court shots and so I grabbed the ball after she missed and she tackled me because I took the basketball. Its kind of funny, but theres not much I can do about it... I have an appointment with an ortopedic surgern on Friday so I can tell whats really wrong. I can live with missing cross country season, but basketball season is way too important to me
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Old 09-13-2006, 03:55 PM   #828 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

Internet slang is so confusing.


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Old 09-13-2006, 04:16 PM   #829 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

what the hell was that?
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Old 09-13-2006, 04:58 PM   #830 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by bootstrenf
what the hell was that?
I dont know. Its too hard to translate. I found it on youtube's homepage.
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Old 09-13-2006, 06:15 PM   #831 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2dumb2live
Internet slang is so confusing.


Oh man, thats funny... if you get it.
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Old 09-13-2006, 08:14 PM   #832 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

Physical theropy sucks...lol at the movie thingy though.
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Old 09-14-2006, 04:31 AM   #833 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

2k
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Old 09-14-2006, 04:36 AM   #834 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

Good to see Quality over Quantity.

Congrats dude
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Old 09-14-2006, 09:33 AM   #835 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by bray1967
2k
WHOA! That's QUANTITY right there!
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Old 09-14-2006, 11:25 AM   #836 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

Backup punter may have stabbed starter
PAT GRAHAM
Associated Press

GREELEY, Colo. - There was never any hint of jealousy or animosity between the two punters competing for the starting job at Northern Colorado - at least, that's the way it appeared on the football field. That all changed this week when the starter, Rafael Mendoza, was stabbed in his right thigh after parking his car outside his apartment Monday night in Evans, about 50 miles north of Denver.

Charged in the attack: His backup, Mitch Cozad.

Mendoza was treated and released from the hosiptal, but will miss at least Saturday's game at Texas State. He told Denver station KCNC-TV he was recovering and wished luck to his teammates.

"I'm looking forward to getting back to playing with my team," he said. "I'm upset this happened but at the same time there's nothing I can do and just move on."

Cozad, meanwhile, was freed Wednesday on a $30,000 bond and faces a charge of second-degree assault.

"I guess the only identified motive (in the attack on Mendoza) at this point in time is the competition for that position," Evans police Lt. Gary Kessler said.

According to Kessler, Mendoza was attacked from behind about 9:30 p.m. The assailant fled in a black Dodge Charger. About 10 minutes after the attack, a liquor store clerk told police that two men in a car matching that description stopped outside the store, stripped tape off the license plate and drove away.

The clerk gave police the license number, and the car was traced to Cozad, who was arrested Tuesday, Kessler said.

The incident was reminiscent of the rivalry between figure skaters Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan. Harding was banned from the sport for life after her former husband hired a hit man to smack Kerrigan on the knee with a crowbar at the 1994 Olympic trials.

Downing wasn't so sure that athletic competition was the reason one of his punters attacked the other. Cozad and Mendoza, a junior from the Denver suburb of Thornton, were competitive, he said, but no more than players at other positions.

"No different than starting quarterback or starting right tackle," he said. "Everyone was held accountable to the same level."

Once a week, players meet with coaches to know where they stand. That way there's no confusion.

"We want them informed ... why they stand in the position they stand," Downing said.

Mendoza won the job over Cozad and freshman Zak Bigelow. With Mendoza and Cozad not available this weekend, Bigelow, Michael York and David Dyches will all audition for the punter's role.

Cozad was suspended from the university and the team and was evicted from his dorm room, director of athletics Jay Hinrichs said. Cozad had no listed phone number in Greeley, and a message left at a phone listed for his Wyoming address was not immediately returned.

Bears coach Scott Downing said he talked to Mendoza, who hopes to make a quick recovery. He's averaging 37.6 yards per punt on nine punts in two games.

"Rafael is a competitor and wants to get back as soon as he can," Downing said. "When that occurs, I don't know."

The Bears recently moved up to Division I-AA play as a member of the Big Sky Conference. Downing took over the Bears on Dec. 27, 2005, leaving his position as recruiting coordinator for the University of Nebraska. He also coached tight ends and kicking specialists.

Associated Press Writer Don Mitchell contributed to this report.

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercu...s/15513800.htm
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Old 09-14-2006, 11:25 AM   #837 (permalink)
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Re: Mavericks OT Thread

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Backup punter may have stabbed starter
I like how Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan were mentioned...

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Old 09-14-2006, 11:27 AM   #838 (permalink)
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