[xray]

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery.

He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke
down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The Monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fixes his car.

As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound not
like anything he's ever heard before.

The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind.

He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.

The next morning, he asks the Monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk."

Distraught, the man is forced to leave.

Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes
back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.

The Monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a Monk."

The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that
beautiful sound is to become a Monk, then please, make me a Monk."

The Monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a Monk."

The man sets about his task.

After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A Monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the Monks.

"In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for:

By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."

The Monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a Monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."

The Monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."

The Monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.

Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The Monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!

With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly
pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to
discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound......

But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a Monk.

[xray]

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy
to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I
called after him, 'So, what was wrong?' He replied, 'It was an ID ten T
error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An ID ten T
error? What's that... in case I need to fix it again?'

Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of ID ten T errors before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T.

I used to like Harold.

[edwardcyh]

Originally Posted by xray

But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a Monk.

Thank you for wasting 5 minutes of my life.....

[xray]

Originally Posted by edwardcyh

Thank you for wasting 5 minutes of my life.....

Anytime.

[xray]

Help your local Search & Rescue.

Get Lost!!

[xray]

Attack of the bees!!

...both teams remaining on the ground for several minutes until the bees moved on.

[croco]

[xray]

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

And so the Christmas season begins....

[xray]

While at the mall the other day, I noticed a teenager with spiked hair with all different colors: red, green, orange, and blue. Seated not far from him was a middle aged man, who was staring at the teenager.

The teenager noticed the man staring at him, and after a few minutes asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

The elderly man didn't hesitate.

"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

[Jacoby_Ellsbury]

this one's a little PG-13... and it's really dumb


Three ants crawl onto a woman's naked body at night and talk amongst each other about where they're going to sleep.

The first ant says "I'm going to sleep in her mouth."

The second ant says "I'm going to sleep between her tits."

The third ant says "I'm going to sleep in her vagina."

They all go their chosen spots.

The next morning the three gets together. They ask each other how the night went.

The first ant says "My night was a little wet, but it was alright."

The second ant says "My night was kind of sweaty, but it was alright."

The third ant just says "My night was horrible."

The other two ants ask him why.

The third ant replies "Well I was just falling asleep, when some one-eyed guy came in, rammed me up against a wall, and spit all over me!"

[xray]

Originally Posted by David_Ortiz

...it's really dumb

Correct!!

[Jet]

The Dallas Mavericks

[croco]

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