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Old 12-03-2012, 05:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Vampire Loose in Serbia

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There's a legendary vampire, Sava Savanovic, who's made his home among the villagers of Zorazje. According to legend he lives in an old wooden mill on the Rogačica river. He'd occasionally suck on the blood of a miller, but, so long as you steered clear of the place at night, you had little to fear.

In fact, the supposed vampire mill became a bit of a tourist spot for the town. That is, until the wood rotted and the mill collapsed.

"People are very worried," says local municipal assembly member Miodrag Vujetic. "Everybody knows the legend of this vampire, and the thought that he is now homeless and looking for somewhere else and possibly other victims is terrifying people. We are all frightened."

Serbia is no stranger to vampire lore. In fact, in 1732 it was home to the most thoroughly documented and widely circulated vampire account in the world. Seems a regiment medical officer, Dr. Johannes Flückinger, was dispatched by the Honorable Supreme Command to Serbia, where exhumed the bodies of 13 supposed vampires. And in case you think they weren't serious about the endeavor, after examinations were done the local gypsies decapitated the bodies and burned them.

Now Serbia is in terror again. Whether Sava Savanovic is real or not, there can be no question that his shadow will be darkening the doorsteps of all the homes in Zorazje tonight.
http://blastr.com/2012/11/official-warning-from-seb.php
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Old 12-03-2012, 06:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Lose in Serbia

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Old 12-05-2012, 11:36 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

Decapitated the bodies and burned them? No garlic, silver, or staking?
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Old 12-05-2012, 11:42 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

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Decapitated the bodies and burned them? No garlic, silver, or staking?
You think they didn't go extreme enough?
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Old 12-05-2012, 11:55 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

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Decapitated the bodies and burned them? No garlic, silver, or staking?
Well, garlic only keeps the vampires at bay and silver is for werewolves. Staking still requires decapitation or, per Hammer Films, some sneaky bastard can come by and remove the stake immediately bringing the vampire back to life. So, knowing this those gypsies took no chances and grabbed the bodies that Dr. Flückinger staked, cut their damned heads off and tossed them on a fire, because that's just how those bastards roll.
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Old 12-05-2012, 01:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

If something's worth doing, it's worth doing right.
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Old 12-05-2012, 01:19 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

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If something's worth doing, it's worth doing right.
In my mind, the biggest question here is whether or not this was a job for "the local gypsies".
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Old 12-05-2012, 01:58 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

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In my mind, the biggest question here is whether or not this was a job for "the local gypsies".
They find that word wildly offensive.
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Old 12-05-2012, 02:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

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They find that word wildly offensive.
I now apologize to local gypsies everywhere. Please do not steal my caravan.
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Old 12-05-2012, 02:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

Ha, good luck getting your tin repaired now. A gypsy never forgets.
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Old 12-05-2012, 02:21 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

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Ha, good luck getting your tin repaired now. A gypsy never forgets.
I thought that was an elephant.
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Old 12-05-2012, 02:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

You're an elephant.
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Old 12-05-2012, 02:28 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

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You're an elephant.
Are you saying I have a large trunk in front?
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Old 12-05-2012, 02:32 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

No, he means that you eat peanuts with your nose and have bowel movements that are potentially fatal for innocent bystanders.
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Old 12-05-2012, 05:44 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: Vampire Loose in Serbia

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No, he means that you eat peanuts with your nose and have bowel movements that are potentially fatal for innocent bystanders.
I'm glad you edited what you originally posted. It was a weak comeback on an epic scale.
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