NOBLE

...I'm writing a paper for school about opportunity cost for Economics and all that, and I want to get better at writing (thinking of be a journalist and whatnot), so tell me what you think about this. It revolves around the Heat and their recent trade:
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The Miami Heat, headlined the largest trade in NBA history involving five teams 13 players, two draft picks, and an undisclosed amount of cash. Only the 4-team Patrick Ewing trade in 2000 came close to its size.

The Miami Heat received all-star talent in forward Antoine Walker and point guard Jason Williams and defensive specialist in James Posey and second year player Andre Emmett while giving up Qyntel Woods, their draft rights to center Albert Miralles, two future second round draft picks, and cash to the Boston Celtics and sending Rasual Butler to the New Orleans Hornets.

The Heat were less than two possessions away from winning the Eastern Conference Finals and going to the NBA Finals as Shaquille O’Neal promised with a beaten up rosters as Dwyane Wade and O’Neal were never at 100% during the 7-game series, and Heat GM Pat Riley made an attempt to upheave the roster to improve their chances of winning it all next year. O’Neal has been one of the main headmen of the trade, going as far as to renegotiate his huge contract to only $125Million/5year contract, which is $5 million less per year that it was before, to get the massive deal done.

The Miami faithful hope that Antoine Walker will provide some much needed scoring off the bench akin to Bob McAdoo with the Showtime Lakers of the 1980’s and that “White Chocolate” can be the setup man and floor general of the offense, allowing Wade to move to his more natural position of shooting guard. Posey has become of the most effective defensive players in the league and is slated to take the starting small forward position – barring he has fully recovered from his foot injury last season. Emmett is quite an athlete, but has several holes in his game at this point in his career to make a true impact.

On paper, the Heat seem to be the most talented rosters in the league by far and has the most headliners – and they still have thoughts on going after another quality wing forward with their $5 millon midlevel exception (at release time, they are in talks with veteran Michael Finley), but with all thsese additions, there have been subtractions – players like Damon Jones, a three-point threat who was a fan favorite, has yet to re-sign with the team, and Eddie Jones, a mainstay for nearly all Heat fans and a consistent, quality output on both offense and defense was shipped to Memphis during the hustle and bustle of the massive transaction in hopes that with his massive contract off the books that it would be an addition by subtraction.

I personally am not fond of the trade. Yes, Miami does have an immensely talented roster now with the players and their good draft, but I believe that too many egos will be in the way. Williams and Walker have been in starting roles and major contributors their entire careers and to all of a sudden being thrust into playing second fiddle is not going to be as easy as everyone has been downplaying that factor. They also aren’t the most basketball IQ savvy players in the league as Walker is infamous for his poor shot selection and Williams can get wild and flashy, create turnovers – once he gets frustrated, it goes all down hill from there. They all need shots and opportunities to thrive, and with Wade and Shaq being the focal point - more on the younger Wade, who had a breakout sophomore campaign – there will not be enough to go around making this work.

Miami gave up the opportunity to keep the chemistry they had last season with efficient players who knew their roles in the offense and played well without the ball. They may not have been the most talented, but they were good and did their parts very well – which is how the Heat extended the ECF series to seven and barely losing it. They forfeited that chemistry to accost a more talented roster which on paper, should beat every team in the league, but in introspect has little chemistry, no definite role in the scheme and have brought players in who do not exactly fit the term “team” (essentially starting over).

There has been many times where this type of effort to win it all has flopped and backfired. Recall the 2004 Olympics, where we sent our “Dream Team” of big name players like Allen Iverson, Tim Duncan, LeBron James, etc. with the ideal that with such talent would win the gold medal easily. They struggled the entire time and couldn’t function together at all, even at one time getting destroyed by Puerto Rico by 19 points. In the end, they were eliminated by Argentina and came home with the bronze medal. Another good example is the 2003-2004 Los Angeles Lakers. Four potential Hall of Famers in the same starting lineup that couldn’t function together and ended up losing to the Detroit Pistons in the NBA Finals. All because of how people overvalue talent and undervalue chemistry and actual teamwork. That is what I see coming to Miami in the following months to come, and the fans may not see the smoke until its too late. Remember, it was first all fun and games in Pompeii before Mt. Vesuvius erupted, too.

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Weasel

I am not an expert on writing or whatnot but I made some corrections (in bold) that I thought could help. The paper is good, I will take cash or credit.

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NOBLE

Thanks, Weasel. Really appreciated.

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DaFranchise

You need to get rid of all those "ands" in the 2nd paragraph. Commas can be used when explaining multiple players in the trade. I hope that makes sense.