[sylaw]

I can't believe I actually made the list. But I need to make a slight correction. I thought I asked us to draft Darko Milicic, not Lebron. He was clearly the better prospect at the time.

[Lynx]

^

Once a Lakers fan, always a Lakers fan.

[Jamel Irief]

Originally Posted by Bartholomew Hunt

Here is a brilliant writeup by Cap on the notorious Laker hating trolls that have graced BBF over the years. Let's face it, we would be lost without them. I thought tonight was an appropriate night to post this.
-----------------------------------------------
Los Angeles Lakers Internet Trolls
A BasketballForum Brief

Banned Lakers Trolls

Username: Jewelz/Nique21

Location: unknown

Join Date: 11/13/2004
End Date: 4/1/2005

MO: Rockets fan with a penchant for argument based entirely on the idea that Laker fans are all of one mind. Typical fallacies about bandwagon Lakers fans and why it isn’t fair that BBF has so many of them. Literally said “Laker fans don’t have their own opinions”. Frankly, an odd obsession with Laker fans. I feel dirty for having searched through his old terrible posts, reliving the horror of it all.

Entertainment Factor: High.

Username: jc76ers

Location: unknown

Join Date: 2/4/2004
End Date: 11/8/2006

MO: A Chicago Bulls fan with an impressive penchant for Lakers hating, mostly Kobe, but he was mildly entertaining with his grammatically poor rants and his ironic twists and turns about “peepz”. Standard fare of boorish jabs; refs are on Lakers’ side, Kobe gets all the calls, Shaq barrels into people with no call, etc. Once stated in 2004 “Most people thought kobe was now going to average close to 30 ppg. The myopic Laker fans thought he would average 35 ppg.”

Entertainment Factor: High.

Username: LB26matrixns

Location: Chicago Heights, IL

Join Date: May 6th, 2004
End Date: August 24th, 2004

MO: A self-proclaimed “law student” and rabid Bulls/Jordan fan, much of his posts were thinly veiled but blatantly obvious attacks on Laker fans about a variety of issues ranging from L.A. being “fake”, to Lakers fans being bangwagoners, to a weird rant about Chicago having great weather “if you know where to look”. Highly sure of himself for all the wrong reasons.

Entertainment Factor: Medium.

Username: Amareca

Location: unknown

Join Date: 10-21-2002
End Date: 06-21-2007

MO: Not necessarily a Lakers/Bryant troll, he was more like medical science’s version of a General Practitioner; a universal one-stop shop troll. However, without question he made his name based on his batsh*t crazy Phoenix Suns fandom during his tenure here, often pimping the Suns’ dominance over other franchises while simultaneously claiming they were the most cursed in sports. So there was a severe cognitive dissonance with this one. Often talked about officiating conspiracies against the Suns and how the league made sure the Spurs beat them in the 06-07 WCF. Was routinely wrong about virtually everything, so he was always very easy to make fun of but often never acknowledged or, more likely, realized the extent of his uselessness. So I suppose it was fitting that his final post in June 2007 read “Lol, Boston won't become a contender no matter what they do in the offseason”. Sadly for Laker fans this proved to be wrong, but it just goes to show you that Amareca was always right...if you did exactly the opposite of everything he said.

Entertainment Factor: High.

Username: MackTen

Location: Las Vegas

Join Date: July 2nd, 2004
End Date: September 29th, 2004

MO: The Sith Overlord of Laker Trolls. Once stated that “of couse the Lakers are still the most hated team in the NBA. As long as they have that Ugly sewer rat looking mutha ****a, Overrated Jordan Wannabee ballhogging rapist as their franchise player, they will never be liked, PERIOD”. We knew we were dealing with a very, very special poster from day 1. While his number of posts, ending at 128, pales in comparison to other known villains, no one before or since has matched his pure, unadulterated loathing of a team and, more precisely, a player. Some BBF posters speculate that he operates a command center deep within a southern control tower of Cirus Cirus, where it is believed the Kobe Bat signal in the Vegas sky emanates from after poor Kobe Bryant performances. It has been speculated that this signal is used to alert Laker trolls around the world to congregate on the World Wide Web. Was eventually banned for ad hominem attacks and illicit photos up the wazoo. The hate was strong with this one.

Entertainment Factor: Highest.

Active Laker Trolls:

Username: duncan2k5

Location: St. Croix

Join Date: 2/27/2005
End Date: TBD

MO: Resident Spurs fan with a penchant for exaggeration. Used to frequently start threads/discussions about Bryant, usually some boorish blend of non-Kobe pimpage (i.e. “LeBron/Wade/Tmac > Kobe”). Has been involved in and started multiple threads on the Lakers, with the general theme boiling down to something on the order of “’lakers/kobe arent as good as you think, spurs r better d00d!”. As the Spurs have gotten worse his post count as diminished. Gives a bad name to educated Spurs fans.

Entertainment Factor: High

Username: truth

Location: unknown

Join Date: 7/16/2002
End Date: TBD

MO: Doesn’t post much anymore but wasn’t banned, so technically still active. Always went into enemy territory, i.e. the Lakers forum, to talk some “sense” into Lakers fans about how huge of a mistake it was to trade Shaq and why Kobe didn’t have what it took to lead a team. Personally PM’ed me a few times to claim how right he was after all these years. I wonder if he has changed his mind since? Though the more important question is, should any Laker fan really care what a Knick fan thinks? Short answer; eat my balls.

Entertainment Factor: Medium.

Username: SeaNet

Location: Seattle

Join Date: 11/18/2004
End Date: TBD

MO: Nets fan with a dedicated hatred for not just the Lakers but Bryant in particular, as is normally the case with most Lakers trolls, with very few exceptions. Routinely open about his hatred and unapologetic about it, often claiming the same tired line about Bryant being selfish, Lakers getting superstar treatment, etc. He’s a good Nets fan so he deserves mercy.

Entertainment Factor: Medium.

Username: LoyalBull

Location: Orange County

Join Date: 6/12/2002

MO: Isn’t a Lakers troll per se, mostly concentrated his efforts on Bryant, often used the same tired lines about ref favoritism and how Bryant got more FT’s than he deserved. As is typical with posters fixated on a player, they’ll admit they’re anti-[insert player] but won’t give ground on the idea that it means they’re also not objective. I give him credit for trying to post his viewpoint as often as possible on the Laker forum years ago much as truth used to. Takes some guts to go into enemy territory. They were depraved efforts, but impressive in spirit. Still technically active and a CM.

Entertainment Factor: High.

Username: SPMJ

Location: unknown

Join Date: July 2nd, 2004
End Date: TBD

MO: A skilled Kobe Bryant sniper always striking while the proverbial iron is hot. During those nights Bryant has a bad game or misses a clutch shot, it is SPMJ who shows up to remind BBF that Kobe Bryant does, in fact, suck. Has recently been spotted vigorously defending LeBron James from minor criticism, with some claiming he did in fact start the web site www.WheresLeBron.com. Most speculate SPMJ is in cahoots with Mack Ten, with anonymous sources claiming inside knowledge that he is being groomed for overlord as apprentice to Mr. Ten. To this day a consensus has not been reached on the relationship, but it should be noted that this man was seen outside Cirus Cirus last June:

http://www.partyeastcarolina.com/pho...size/11407.jpg

Entertainment Factor: High

Username: ChrisRichards

Location: Miami, Florida

Join Date: July 17th, 2007
End Date: TBD

MO: Much as scientists have been unable to precisely classify a virus as living or non-living, BBF has as of yet been unable to identify the class of organism a ChrisRichards should be filed under. Once correlated the extinction of a rare breed of pink flamingos with the eventual extinction of homosexual men, ChrisRichards is a special kind of nuts who is thoroughly entertaining due to the effort and extent of his Laker hate. Currently pulling hair out over the Lakers’ success in the 2009 NBA Finals while reminding people that Michael Jordan was, in fact, a wonderful player.

Entertainment Factor: High.

Username: DuMa

Location: I think Mongolia

Join Date: 12-25-2004
End Date: TBD

MO: A Rockets fan that generally posted grammatically poor one-liners, usually not much substance. Wasn’t really a Rockets homer though, he just liked to make hit-and-run one-liners about the Lakers and Bryant, usually about why old school legends/teams were superior. Which was odd for a teenager to claim. For some strange reason started a thread claiming he once gave Shaq a ride in his car, and then when confronted with the fact that it could not have been him, claimed he never said it was him, despite making comments throughout the thread never denying it. My personal theory; he’s like local BBF legend Ballscientist; he posts sh*t that doesn’t make sense, but unlike Ballscientist will then posts replies to his own posts that continue not to make any sense. At which point you have conclude that maybe DuMa is, in fact, a living breathing example of the infinite monkey theorem, which stipulates that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare. I must say, his precision is remarkable.

Entertainment Factor: Medium.

Username: Dynasty Raider

Location: Los Angeles bridge

Join Date: 11-15-2002
End Date: TBD

MO: Very run-of-the-mill troll, bridge dweller of sorts. Wild mood swings regarding the Lakers and Bryant, which I attributed to medication but apparently this one’s a female. Naturally, that explained it. Usually comes out to play when the franchise is in disarray or misses the playoffs, which is rare, but happened during the golden years of Laker hating starting in the summer of 2003 with Bryant’s rape accusations, to the end of the 03-04 season’s Finals loss to Detroit, through the 2004-2005 lottery season. It was during this period Mrs. Raider derived much of her life force, staying extra spry during the 05-06 season when her team, the Clippers (whom I believe reside somewhere in Southern California), finished ahead of the Lakers and made the 2nd round. Has, of course, become an ardent LeBron James fan and quite possibly may be the cousin of Kate Faber.

Entertainment Factor: High.

General Conclusion: A huge majority of the Laker haters are Kobe haters, but a particularly large majority are Bulls/MJ fans. I don’t think this “coincidence” is lost on anyone. An interesting pattern, and I suppose not a surprising one, was that the overwhelming majority of these Bulls fans were almost exclusively MJ fans by extension, and thereby seemed to hold some sort of grudge against Bryant’s game much in the way some rabid Laker fans loath LeBron James. Though in the case of the Bulls/MJ fans noted here, the hate seemed to be rooted in Bryant’s ability to pattern some of his legacy with similar moves, mannerisms, etc. to MJ (greatly exaggerated but certainly true to an extent). What’s also interesting is that most of the hate for Bryant has died down in comparison to 04 or 05, when Shaq was traded and Jackson released his book “The Last Season”, blasting Bryant. However, Lakers hatred has increased substantially since then. Trolls still exist now, but few exclusively for Kobe and more specifically aimed at other players, scrubs like Sasha Vujacic, for example. Bottom line; every troll has been quite entertaining, and I personally look forward to another generation of self-loathing trolls.

This is so brilliant I can not describe it. Only a couple pre 2004 people missing (Kid Crawford, Truth_34) and Hibachi!/Sac Kings384 or whatever but outside of that people I forgot existed. I remember that truth guy when I was the only one bashing the Butler/Kwame trade, told me this was the one time I was free to be pro laker because kwame was a beast. Dynasty Raider is the best troll of all time. She is the only one of the list I think 100% actually believes what she writes. Like I literally think she knows Kobe personally and he did something awful to her.

Dynasty

[afobisme]

wow, you guys actually profile the fans?

[Lynx]

^ We do but trolls more often.

[Darth Bryant]

Username: Dynasty Raider

Location: Los Angeles bridge

Join Date: 11-15-2002
End Date: TBD

MO: Very run-of-the-mill troll, bridge dweller of sorts. Wild mood swings regarding the Lakers and Bryant, which I attributed to medication but apparently this one’s a female.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Brian34Cook]

Man I hardly ever come to this site anymore, let alone many.. life has been getting better and better for me.. I had a bout of H1N1 about a month ago (luckily it lasted about a week and I wasnt hospitalized).. I'm still watching the Lakers every chance I get.. tonight.. my Illini play.. its too bad my Cards couldnt beat the Dodgers (was pulling for them after that series though haha).. anyways it was nice reading this whole thing.. first time in months I've been here.. I dont know when I'll check again either.. take care everyone and.. GO LAKERS!!!

And the answers is not DOUTHIT.. its COOK!!! lol

[Basel]

Hope to see you back more often, B34C.

[Jamel Irief]

Anyone around the summer of 2003 will appreciate this dynasty raider post.

http://www.basketballforum.com/6154703-post2.html

[Pinball]

Originally Posted by Brian34Cook

Man I hardly ever come to this site anymore, let alone many.. life has been getting better and better for me.. I had a bout of H1N1 about a month ago (luckily it lasted about a week and I wasnt hospitalized).. I'm still watching the Lakers every chance I get.. tonight.. my Illini play.. its too bad my Cards couldnt beat the Dodgers (was pulling for them after that series though haha).. anyways it was nice reading this whole thing.. first time in months I've been here.. I dont know when I'll check again either.. take care everyone and.. GO LAKERS!!!

And the answers is not DOUTHIT.. its COOK!!! lol

Nice to see you back and healthy. You were the forum for a couple of years when we were missing the playoffs or barely getting in. A Brian Cook fan that became a Lakers fan. Hey, it has to start somwehere right?

[Pinball]

Great work guys. Great write up on the posters considering how many we've had. Great job by Cap on the trolls. There have been lots of them. Dynasty Raider takes the cake because he gets all psychological on you. He never says anything outright, just implies it, and he loves hinting at things with........Classic troll. I can't explain what happened to Hibachi, though. You can still detect animosity towards the Lakers but he sounds reasonably intelligent. When he was SacKings384, he was the dumbest poster on this site. I have no idea what happened there. Maybe college really does make that big of difference.

[Cris]

I just reread the whole thread and laughed out loud again.

[Unique]

I love you guys

[VanillaPrice]

Wow, I completely forgot about this, this is great.

[onelakerfan]

Hey i'm a Laker fan