NEW YORK—Sources close to the NBA commissioner say David Stern may yet succumb to the powerfully intoxicating sexual advances of Miami head coach Pat Riley and, in so doing, be convinced to allow the 12-57 Heat to enter the playoffs.
"It's so wrong. I know it's wrong. But it feels… no, not right, it can never be right. But it just feels so
good," Stern reportedly confided to National Basketball Association executives after returning to his Manhattan apartment to find Riley nude, oiled, and glistening in the rose-scented candlelight of his bedroom. "I can't let the Heat into the postseason—it would be wrong. But does that mean wanting to be happy is wrong, too?"
"I'm just so confused!" Stern cried before burying his head in his hands, running from the NBA's boardroom, and throwing himself onto a nearby divan, where he sobbed, inconsolable, through the morning.
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Pat Riley's Sexual Bribes Tempt David Stern To Allow Heat Into Playoffs
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