[IbizaXL]

What every driver in Miami should know:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Miami driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance
between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by someone else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you
have of getting hit.

4. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork, especially with CANADA, NY or MICHIGAN plates. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure
that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a
good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. Florida is the
home of high-speed slalom-driving thanks to the Department of
Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers'
reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is tradition to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is
important for you to exit your vehicle through the windshield
right away. Wearing your seat-belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of every Miami driver is to get
ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

15. In Miami, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This
gesture should always be returned.

LOL

[Wade2Bosh]

Where did you get that from?

[Sueng]

Hahahahahaha Soooo True!

[IbizaXL]

yep, i deal with this **** everyday.

[MOHeat]

I deal with this 1-2 times a year, when I come home to see the fam. Makes me and the wife better drivers up here. LOL

[IbizaXL]

Originally Posted by MOHeat

I deal with this 1-2 times a year, when I come home to see the fam. Makes me and the wife better drivers up here. LOL

you lucky ****** :curse:

LOL

[-33-]

That's awesome...and amazingly true...

the best is getting used to the miami driving style...and then leaving, say, to a small town in Ohio......I look like a maniac out here when I'm probably one of the more sane drivers in South Florida...

[sMaK]

LOL That's funny. I have seen some ridiculous drivers here.

[IbizaXL]

Bump! new stuff on this subject. lol

In My Opinion

Rude driving in Miami: It's all the rage!

By Ana Menendez
amenendez@herald.com

Sooner or later great talent is recognized. So we come to the summer of 2006, when after years of practice, the drivers of Miami are finally being honored as the rudest, most pig-headed bunch in the nation.

There's a certain perverse comfort in it -- even pride. We always knew we were No. 1.

AutoVantage, an auto club wisely located far away in Norwalk, Conn., surveyed 20 cities around the country and found that when it came to running red lights, tailgating, cutting into other lanes, sudden braking and stealing parking spots, no place beats Miami.

No one here is surprised. ''Miami's a nice to place to live, unless you need to go anywhere,'' drawled FHP spokesman Lt. Pat Santangelo.

Barbara Vilaseca's story is typical: She had just moved to the city and was trying to merge onto an exit for I-95 south. Being from out of town, she idiotically used her turn signal.

''Car after car passed and would not allow me to switch,'' said Vilaseca, who lives in Bay Harbor Island.

Barbara missed the exit and quickly learned what we all know: Signaling is a sign of weakness. She's since given up the habit and forces her way into a lane ``like everyone else.''

WHY CAN'T THEY BE LIKE ME?

At least she admits it. Drivers in Miami were the most likely to report rude behavior in the AutoVantage survey and the least likely to admit to it themselves.

Who, me? Talk to anyone and they'll blame the atrocious driving on some other group: truck drivers, SUV drivers, the elderly, Cubans. . . .

None of the above, says Santangelo, who for a man who might have legitimate reasons to loathe drivers manages to display a great deal of sympathy for them. His theory: The problem is not necessarily the drivers so much as their sheer numbers.

''We're heading to total gridlock here in Miami-Dade County,'' Santangelo said. ``Once all these large condos are occupied, it's going to be a problem.''

Unable to move and running late for work, drivers flip. After hours of senseless idling, even the nicest person can morph into a lunatic. ''I understand why they're doing it,'' Santangelo said. ``I'm not saying it's right, but I understand.''

One of the most avoidable culprits is lingering traffic accidents. On any given day, there are 130 crashes in the county. On a rainy day, the number can climb to almost 200.

If the crashes were cleared quickly, traffic would move quickly. But there are not enough troopers. At certain hours, Santangelo said, there may be only two troopers patrolling all of Miami-Dade.

So the wrecks just sit, waiting to be cleared and causing more accidents. Meanwhile, no one's around to ticket the guy driving in reverse on the Dolphin.

Seeing as the starting salary for a trooper is $33,000, more cops -- not more message boards -- seems the wiser investment.

Where's the political leadership? Telling happy stories, getting into scraps or pretending this is someone else's problem. That leaves the search for solutions to ordinary people such as activist Bernardo Benes. His new group, MOV'N (Meeting Our Vehicular Needs), meets regularly to try to come up with ideas to ease gridlock. Among them: anti-road-rage training for high-schoolers.

IT'S IN OUR HANDS

Maybe someday there will be a single agency in charge of traffic, a nice commuter train running along the old FEC tracks and countywide pledges to bring back the turn signal.

In the meantime, all we can do is trade stories as we wallow in our first-place glory. Wednesday, I met my sister in South Miami for coffee. When we got back to her car, we noticed a huge dent in the fender. But, wait, some courteous person had left a note!

''Please call,'' they'd written on lined yellow paper. We did. The number had been disconnected.

Miami Herald


The survey's best and worst are:

Least Courteous Cities (Worst Road Rage):
-- Miami
-- Phoenix
-- New York
-- Los Angeles
-- Boston

Most Courteous Cities (Least Road Rage):
-- Minneapolis
-- Nashville
-- St. Louis
-- Seattle
-- Atlanta
Link

HA! they better recognize!