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Old 09-26-2003, 12:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Saturday Night Live

Saturday Night Live Gets a New Look Source: Variety Thursday, September 25, 2003

Kenan Thompson (All That) and comic Finesse Mitchell will join NBC's Saturday Night Live as featured players when the long-running show begins its 29th season October 4. The show also will debut a new opening sequence shot by veteran music video director Dave Meyers.

The comedy-variety series is getting a new set, modeled after New York's refurbished Grand Central Station. The transformation of Studio 8H was carried out by "SNL's" scenic design team.

School of Rock star Jack Black will host the season opener, with John Mayer appearing as musical guest. Justin Timberlake will host the October 11 episode, while Halle Berry and Britney Spears are set for October 18.

Returning to "SNL" are performers Fred Armisen, Rachel Dratch, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Will Forte, Darrell Hammond, Seth Meyers, Chris Parnell, Amy Poehler, Jeff Richards, Maya Rudolph and Horatio Sanz.


Now I love Saturday Night Live, but Kenan f***** Thompson. Are you kidding me, SNL, that is just stupid! My god this show really is on it's last legs if this is some of the best black performers they could find for the show. Maybe some people here like All That, but to me I wonder how they are going to carry the show with no strong castmembers and especially with Jimmy Fallon leaving at the end of this year. I hope this isn't it. Uggh, get ready for another 1994-95 season.


BTW, Finesse Mitchell is a pretty funny dude. I have always liked his act when I got to see it.
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Old 09-26-2003, 12:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
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The "Good Burger" guy? Yuck.........
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Old 09-26-2003, 01:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

I really think that Saturday Night (Live) is the absolute worst show on Network TV today. There was a time this was one of the greatest shows on the air, but ever since about '95 or '96, it's just been awful...

I don't think anything can save this show anymore. It's really too bad.
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Old 09-26-2003, 01:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I'm trying to make it on SNL as a writer (a black SNL writer I know) on the show. I sent these to the casting director who I met already and I am hoping that he will read them and call me like he promised me he would. These are WEEKEND UPDATE jokes and you guys tell me if you think they are funny.


Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake continues to burn up the charts as his solo career is showing no signs of slowing down. On the other hand, Joey McIntyre can be seen hanging out with the Backstreet Boys, BBMack, LFO and Boy Zone, on the “I Never Did Anything Worthwhile After My Boy Band Broke Up” Tour Across America.

Bomb Threat
A bomb threat was averted in Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin, after a note was discovered by a local resident in a lockbox on a boat. The note said, “I’m going to bomb the dam.” The police were able to capture the suspect since he left a clue at the bottom of the note. It said P.S. “I hate waskly wabbits.” (show a CG of Elmer Fudd)

Manhunt
A manhunt in Crawford County, Wisconsin ended after the suspect turned himself in to the county sheriff. The man hunt lasted almost ten whole days, which is surprising considering there are only 4 people who live in Crawford County.

Ms. Universe
With the 2003 Ms. Universe Pageant coming up in a couple of weeks people are wondering how the contestants will do in each respective category. One thing we know for sure is that the Eastern European women will have a huge advantage in the “Women who sound like Men” category.

Gerard Depardieu
French Movie Star Gerard Depardieu says he has cut ties to his troubled actor son, Gillaume. Depardieu was quoted as saying “At the moment, we have no ties. I cut things off because I no longer want to be the wall, or the trash bin where one dumps anything one wants." One can only hope that Depardieu decides to cut ties with his huge nose and acting career pretty soon.

Dr. Pepper
Dr. Pepper has totally revamped their whole ad campaign to gear it towards a younger and hipper audience. And after seeing the commercial, I realized I might not be the only person thinking younger and hipper definitely means Cyndi Lauper. Apparently, Foreigner and the B-52’s were all booked up.

Spike Lee
While Speaking at the University of Redlands in California, black filmmaker Spike Lee urged the students there not to be so concerned with celebrities like Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, and to start concentrating on more important things. When asked what things they should focus on by the students, Lee said, “How about renting Malcom X and Do The Right Thing, I could use the money.”

Banned Email
John Caudwell, the multi-millionaire owner of high street retailer Phones 4u, has banned staff from using e-mail. The tycoon -- who does not use e-mail -- told more than 2,500 employees Friday they would have to swap cyberspace for outright yelling. In a cost cutting move, apparently, he got the idea after discovering 2,500 bullhorns in the basement.

Salt Cathedral
For years, the Zipaquira Salt Cathedral in Colombia has brought many people of Catholic persuasion to it’s walls for the past eight years. "This is where man meets God," said Stella Higuera, a guide at the cathedral. Unfortunately, in the past year, tourists have become less and less visible at the Cathedral. Apparently, all that salt and not one single pretzel stand was the culprit.

Rushing Cockpit
A man is in federal custody after he tried to break into an airplane cockpit during a flight from South Africa to Atlanta, the FBI said. Federal agents took James Drake, into custody after the South African Airlines Flight 7799 landed at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport. When asked why he rushed the cockpit door, Mr. Drake replied, “It was the only way I could get them to turn off the Tank Girl movie with Lori Petty.”

Tell me what you think. I hope they think it is funny. They could use some funny writers for a change IMO.
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Old 09-26-2003, 07:16 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Tell me what you think. I hope they think it is funny. They could use some funny writers for a change IMO.
lmao! good job newmessiah!

good luck!
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Old 09-26-2003, 08:34 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Those are actually pretty good. I'm also an aspiring writer among many things(Broadcast Journalism) major and the main problem with the show is that its horribly stale. The jokes are the same and the skits are repetitive. Horatio Sanz has ONE CHARACTER(albeit a good one). Darrell Hammond, Fallon, and Rudolph are the only ones worth anything on that show. Kenan Thompson is a joke. Hey they should bring in Kel Mitchell. SNL goes through bad stages and then a group of newcomers lifts them back up again. So we may in for a bad couple of years, but it'll get better trust me.
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Old 09-26-2003, 08:56 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Those are actually pretty good. I'm also an aspiring writer among many things(Broadcast Journalism) major and the main problem with the show is that its horribly stale. The jokes are the same and the skits are repetitive. Horatio Sanz has ONE CHARACTER(albeit a good one). Darrell Hammond, Fallon, and Rudolph are the only ones worth anything on that show. Kenan Thompson is a joke. Hey they should bring in Kel Mitchell. SNL goes through bad stages and then a group of newcomers lifts them back up again. So we may in for a bad couple of years, but it'll get better trust me.
i think fred armisen can be funny, but he's not encorporated in enough skits.
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Old 09-26-2003, 09:08 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Returning to "SNL" are performers Fred Armisen, Rachel Dratch, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Will Forte, Darrell Hammond, Seth Meyers, Chris Parnell, Amy Poehler, Jeff Richards, Maya Rudolph and Horatio Sanz.
Ok I have faith in some of these young cast members. Fred Armisen is freaking hilarious when he does that one character in the night time Dance and Seduction classes. Same with Will Forte, that kid is talent and Jeff Richards is awesome, Drunk girl!

I hope the young cast members will develope more this year but they are not horrible. And Tina Fey is a very funny writer and has really improved Weekend Update in my opinion. Sure the show is not as good as it used to be but most people just assume it is going to be a bad show, shut it off and miss some funny skits.

You don't judge Eddy Curry or Tracy McGrady in their first few seasons as a pro, so don't do it with guys like Will Forte, Fred Armisen, Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler or Jeff Richards.
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Old 09-26-2003, 09:10 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I think a lot of the people on the show are very funny, but there just isn't that strong of writing like there used to be. People like the previously mentioned Fred Armisen look like they have all the potential in the world to be drop-dead hilarious, but they often aren't given that good of material to work with as often as the older casts.
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Old 09-26-2003, 09:23 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I think a lot of the people on the show are very funny, but there just isn't that strong of writing like there used to be. People like the previously mentioned Fred Armisen look like they have all the potential in the world to be drop-dead hilarious, but they often aren't given that good of material to work with as often as the older casts.
True dat. The show does not have rock solid skits they can throw out. They have very, very few skits that are always funny and can depend on. Like the skit where they have the old comedians at the casino and the drumber does rim shots at the wrong time, that is HILARIOUS but their are very few rock solid skit bases like that. I just hope they keep that skit going even without Katan.

But I hate when people blame the writing on Tina Fey, because how can one person write skits for a entire show?
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Old 09-26-2003, 09:31 AM   #11 (permalink)
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The writing has always been hit or miss. Even when the show was great, a lot of Hans & Franz sketches were, in my opinion, pretty weak, as were all the "nutty sitcom parodies" like "The Man Who Can't Shake Hands. Today's episode: The Man Who Can't Shake Hands runs for President!"

But, oftentimes, even when the writing was weak, the brilliant individual performances could halfway save the sketch.

These days, the writing is mostly miss and the performers aren't the caliber who can find ways to be funny even with poor material.

To me, Darrell Hammond is a perfect case. His Clinton or Gore imitations were as poor as I or any random person on the street could do (clipped Southern accent for Clinton, ponderous Southern accent for Gore...wow, talent), and the writing was incredibly poor political satire. The result was sketches that really weren't very entertaining at all, in my opinion.
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Old 09-26-2003, 11:01 AM   #12 (permalink)
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For you aspiring comics/writers

Anyone looking to get into comedy should check out www.karma777.com

They are one of the leaders in the Bay Area comedy scene and are starting to branch out. They have started a new forum because their overwhelming requests by visitors to post their work for comedies/movies. The forum just opened this week. Get involved w/ that because from what I hear they are connected and do recogize talent when they see it or at least hear or read what you have to offer.
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Old 09-26-2003, 01:58 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Originally posted by <b>newmessiah10</b>!

Rushing Cockpit
A man is in federal custody after he tried to break into an airplane cockpit during a flight from South Africa to Atlanta, the FBI said. Federal agents took James Drake, into custody after the South African Airlines Flight 7799 landed at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport. When asked why he rushed the cockpit door, Mr. Drake replied, “It was the only way I could get them to turn off the Tank Girl movie with Lori Petty.”
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Old 09-26-2003, 02:33 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Spike Lee
While Speaking at the University of Redlands in California, black filmmaker Spike Lee urged the students there not to be so concerned with celebrities like Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, and to start concentrating on more important things. When asked what things they should focus on by the students, Lee said, “How about renting Malcom X and Do The Right Thing, I could use the money.”

Banned Email
John Caudwell, the multi-millionaire owner of high street retailer Phones 4u, has banned staff from using e-mail. The tycoon -- who does not use e-mail -- told more than 2,500 employees Friday they would have to swap cyberspace for outright yelling. In a cost cutting move, apparently, he got the idea after discovering 2,500 bullhorns in the basement.

Salt Cathedral
For years, the Zipaquira Salt Cathedral in Colombia has brought many people of Catholic persuasion to it’s walls for the past eight years. "This is where man meets God," said Stella Higuera, a guide at the cathedral. Unfortunately, in the past year, tourists have become less and less visible at the Cathedral. Apparently, all that salt and not one single pretzel stand was the culprit.
Would be nice if some of them appeared on SNL!
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Old 09-26-2003, 02:44 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Here's a few more.

Carlos Boozer
In an effort to stop the negative publicity for the NBA, Cleveland Cavaliers power forward Carlos Boozer has decided to become a national spokesman for alcohol awareness. Seriously, leave it to a guy named Boozer, to show people that excessive drinking is bad for you.

Big Mouth Bass
In this months’ Men’s Health Magazine, a study was conducted where 90% of men said they hate receiving oral sex from women because their mouths are too small to give the best pleasure. In an unrelated story, the Billy Big Mouth Bass toy has seen it’s sales go up 90% in the last month.

Nick Lachey/Jessica Simpson
Rumor has it, that due to the poor sales of their respective albums, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, have decided to put their impending leap into pornography on MTV after their careers fizzle. In other music news, Michael Bolton seems to have made a comeback. One question, does anyone care?

Ghost Existence
The New Journal of Austrian Scientists has recently concluded a study proving the existence of Ghosts. In a related story, Strom Thurmond’s soul has moved to a different cemetery, after being constantly harassed by the Ghosts of Negroes Past.

Tokyo Disasters
Tokyo, Japan was hit hard this summer by massive earthquakes and terrible typhoons. However, that was the good news as those events pale in comparison to seeing Celine Dion live in concert. Apparently, during the concert the Japanese were heard saying to God that they could handle earthquakes a lot better than the disaster known as Celine Dion Live.
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