“They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage - Basketball Forum : Professional and College Basketball Forums

**Prince** · 09-07-2012, 01:34 PM

Quote:

“They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage To The Politician Who Is Offended By An NFL Player Supporting It

Chris Kluwe

Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. Yahoo has published a letter that Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote last week to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, urging him to "inhibit such expressions from your employee." This is Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's response to Burns.

Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,

I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland's state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):

1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should "inhibit such expressions from your employees," more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person's right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mind****ing obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.

2. "Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement." Holy ****ing shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who's "deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland"? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have "no place in a sport"? I can't even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for "beautiful oppressionism").

3. This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)

I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?

In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth cluster**** you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I'm fairly certain you might need it.

Sincerely,
Chris Kluwe

P.S. I've also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your "I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing" and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole.

http://deadspin.com/5941348/they-won...-supporting-it

**Floods** · 09-07-2012, 03:39 PM

#BurnHeal

Da Grinch · 09-09-2012, 08:04 AM

while I actually oppose gay marriage , I cant help but respect Chris Kluwe a little more for his roasting of burns like that .

**Krstic All-Star** · 09-09-2012, 09:21 AM

Burns is definitely running afoul of the First Amendment, though he doesn't actually rely on the same clause as the one he's violating. Somebody should whittle a log down and etch the words First Amendment on it, then smack Burns over the head with it. I'd watch that on YouTube

**Krstic All-Star** · 09-09-2012, 09:21 AM

Also, the phrase "lustful cockmonster" is hysterical

**Prince** · 09-09-2012, 06:48 PM

Kluwe is by far my favorite Vikings player.

Nimreitz · 09-09-2012, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krstic All-Star

Burns is definitely running afoul of the First Amendment, though he doesn't actually rely on the same clause as the one he's violating. Somebody should whittle a log down and etch the words First Amendment on it, then smack Burns over the head with it. I'd watch that on YouTube

I'm not sure if he is actually. He's not using the state to stifle speech, to me his comments are also covered by the first amendment. Will not be looking up case law or wikipedia.

**Diable** · 09-09-2012, 07:20 PM

It doesn't seem like he can violate anyone's rights because he has not authority to do anything. It's not much different from me telling him to shut the **** up is it? Perhaps anyone who disagrees with him should email the governor to try to convince him to tell this guy to shut the **** up.

Of course if he tried to use coercion to get the Ravens to silence one of their employees that has to be something else it seems. I'd guess that this guy is electioneering in some district where this nonsense helps him. He mostly just makes him look the fool to anyone who isn't already inclined to agree with the nonsense.

**Krstic All-Star** · 09-10-2012, 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nimreitz

I'm not sure if he is actually. He's not using the state to stifle speech, to me his comments are also covered by the first amendment. Will not be looking up case law or wikipedia.

Burns sent a letter on official House of Delegates letterhead requesting a private employer to take action to "inhibit such expressions by your employee."

It's a bit of a shame that the idiot's letter didn't result in any damages (except to Burns' reputation), since it would make for an interesting case. There is a degree of immunity for sitting government officials acting in their official capacities, but it does not extend to unconstitional actions (whether the speech is protected as such to shield hijm from liability is another matter).

**Krstic All-Star** · 09-10-2012, 06:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diable

It doesn't seem like he can violate anyone's rights because he has not authority to do anything. It's not much different from me telling him to shut the **** up is it? Perhaps anyone who disagrees with him should email the governor to try to convince him to tell this guy to shut the **** up.

Of course if he tried to use coercion to get the Ravens to silence one of their employees that has to be something else it seems. I'd guess that this guy is electioneering in some district where this nonsense helps him. He mostly just makes him look the fool to anyone who isn't already inclined to agree with the nonsense.

Yeah, the key is that he used his official letterhead to make his 'request.' There is some interesting case law that relates to the use of official letterhead by elected officials as well as the outer limits of the immunity granted to officials acting "in the course of their duties" as elected officials.

**Dornado** · 09-10-2012, 06:21 AM

Chris Kluwe just gained a fan.

I find it hard to believe that people still oppose same sex marriage... as more and more places legalize it and find out that things don't descend into whatever chaotic immoral apocalypse the religious right wants us to fear it would seem the argument against equality gets weaker.

Da Grinch · 09-10-2012, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dornado

Chris Kluwe just gained a fan.

I find it hard to believe that people still oppose same sex marriage... as more and more places legalize it and find out that things don't descend into whatever chaotic immoral apocalypse the religious right wants us to fear it would seem the argument against equality gets weaker.

some opposition to gay marriage has nothing to do with religious or moral things , there are health, logical and monetary reasons to not support it as well.

**Dornado** · 09-10-2012, 07:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Da Grinch

some opposition to gay marriage has nothing to do with religious or moral things , there are health, logical and monetary reasons to not support it as well.

There are?

e-monk · 09-10-2012, 08:46 AM

yeah, 'health' is pretty telling, wonder what kind of ignorant bullshit we're about to be in for here

**Cinco de Mayo** · 09-10-2012, 09:16 AM

First paragraph is pretty obnoxious. Using vitriolic and espouse - words only douche bags use in actual conversation - and then telling to hire an intern to help with the "big words." Comes off as very Damien Sandow.

The rest was fine.

09-07-2012, 03:39 PM	#2 (permalink)
Floods -LIFETIME MEMBER- Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 14,128 Rep Power: 15842309	Re: “They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage #BurnHeal

09-09-2012, 08:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
Da Grinch X-Mas Taker Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: nyc Posts: 8,387 Rep Power: 2256496	Re: “They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage while I actually oppose gay marriage , I cant help but respect Chris Kluwe a little more for his roasting of burns like that . __________________ Democracy is 2 wolves and a lamb deciding what to eat for lunch. Liberty is a well armed lamb contesting the vote.

09-09-2012, 09:21 AM	#4 (permalink)
Krstic All-Star Legal Smeagol Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Unemployed, in Greenland?!? Age: 34 Posts: 30,661 Rep Power: 19240053	Re: “They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage Burns is definitely running afoul of the First Amendment, though he doesn't actually rely on the same clause as the one he's violating. Somebody should whittle a log down and etch the words First Amendment on it, then smack Burns over the head with it. I'd watch that on YouTube __________________ LIPA delenda est

09-09-2012, 09:21 AM	#5 (permalink)
Krstic All-Star Legal Smeagol Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Unemployed, in Greenland?!? Age: 34 Posts: 30,661 Rep Power: 19240053	Re: “They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage Also, the phrase "lustful cockmonster" is hysterical __________________ LIPA delenda est

09-09-2012, 06:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
Prince Formerly Known as Quite Frankly Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Wisconsin Age: 22 Posts: 11,814 Rep Power: 4606109	Re: “They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage Kluwe is by far my favorite Vikings player. __________________ 2032 KVBL Champions: Milwaukee Bucks (Prince) Lineup - PG D'Angelo McMillian \| SG Eddy Sweet \| SF Cameron Clothier \| PF Mario Rogic \| C Greg Hope \| 6th man C Andre Wright Finals MVP: Greg Hope 2033 KVBL Champions: Milwaukee Bucks (Prince) Lineup - PG D'Angelo McMillian \| SG Joseph McDaniels \| SF Cameron Clothier \| PF Mario Rogic \| C Greg Hope \| 6th man C Peter Acres Finals MVP: Greg Hope Fear the Deer Minnesota Timberwolves

09-09-2012, 07:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
Diable Limehouse Blues Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: North Carolina Posts: 22,176 Rep Power: 14650805	Re: “They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage It doesn't seem like he can violate anyone's rights because he has not authority to do anything. It's not much different from me telling him to shut the ** up is it? Perhaps anyone who disagrees with him should email the governor to try to convince him to tell this guy to shut the ** up. Of course if he tried to use coercion to get the Ravens to silence one of their employees that has to be something else it seems. I'd guess that this guy is electioneering in some district where this nonsense helps him. He mostly just makes him look the fool to anyone who isn't already inclined to agree with the nonsense. __________________

09-10-2012, 06:21 AM	#11 (permalink)
Dornado Community Moderator Join Date: May 2003 Location: WI Posts: 10,334 Rep Power: 10609191	Re: “They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage Chris Kluwe just gained a fan. I find it hard to believe that people still oppose same sex marriage... as more and more places legalize it and find out that things don't descend into whatever chaotic immoral apocalypse the religious right wants us to fear it would seem the argument against equality gets weaker. __________________

09-10-2012, 08:46 AM	#14 (permalink)
e-monk All-Star Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,687 Rep Power: 3274359	Re: “They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage yeah, 'health' is pretty telling, wonder what kind of ignorant bullshit we're about to be in for here

09-10-2012, 09:16 AM	#15 (permalink)
Cinco de Mayo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Join Date: Aug 2002 Age: 30 Posts: 26,619 Rep Power: 21474873	Re: “They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage First paragraph is pretty obnoxious. Using vitriolic and espouse - words only douche bags use in actual conversation - and then telling to hire an intern to help with the "big words." Comes off as very Damien Sandow. The rest was fine. __________________ JOHNJOHNJOHNJOHN JOHNJOHNJOHNJOHN JOHNJOHNJOHNJOHN JOHNJOHN JOHNJOHN JOHNJOHNJOHNJOHN JOHNJOHNJOHNJOHN JOHNJOHNJOHNJOHN JOHNJOHN JOHNJOHN JOHNJOHN JOHNJOHN JOHNJOHN JOHNJOHN JOHNJOHN

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