[ProudBFan]

Just got back from the bank (getting statements to see how our finances are doing).

My lovely, darling wife cleaned out all our accounts on Monday.

Sorry to disappoint you, crandc, but the gloves are off.

PBF

[MARIS61]

Time to lawyer up, for the sake of the children.

[MARIS61]

Originally Posted by crandc

I have to disagree with B & B. Since PBF and his wife decided before the children arrived that she would be a stay at home mom, it would be wrong to punish her now for a joint decision.

Speaking from my viewpoint here, not trying to speak for PBF.

They also agreed to love, honor...'til death do they part.

That decision was based on another life, one where Dad came home to a wife and kids after a hard day at work.

She no longer wants to be his wife, and she most likely didn't "stay at home".

A split marriage means split duties. She can work just like PBF and they can share custody, or she can look for a Sugar Daddy, and they can share custody.

She's shown her true colors by stealing money behind his back and you can bet she's had a lawyer for some time now so I'm afraid he's in for some more unpleasant surprises in the near future.

By being dishonest to their father through her actions she has exposed how far down the priority list her children are in her mind also.

Can't believe your take on this.

Thought you were a "liberated woman" crandc?

[Dan]

Originally Posted by ProudBFan

Just got back from the bank (getting statements to see how our finances are doing).

My lovely, darling wife cleaned out all our accounts on Monday.

Sorry to disappoint you, crandc, but the gloves are off.

PBF

go to a lawyer, and go to a lawyer asap. My former (thank god) sister in law did something like that to my brother during their divorce. She kept using his (slash their) credit card to pay for her friends meals (they'd pay her cash in trade) and my brother had to pay it. She refused to leave the house they bought "together" in Spokane, and ran up credit card debt up the ying-yang.

Thankfully, they had no kids. But she didn't seem to care if she was costing him tons of money either. She refused to leave the house even tho she basically was evicted. She ruined his credit rating for a long time too. He, thankfully, finally got a no contest divorce (she was too damn lazy to even contest it). So he got to decide who got what, etc, but still was overly generous to her. Of course, he still loved her despite the fact she treated him like **** (even on their honeymoon).


But the fact she cleared our your bank accounts seems to be somewhat illegal as half of that is yours. You think if you had cleaned them out, she would've have been on you like ugly on ape? Fight fire with napalm. Get a lawyer on her ***, and don't take any ****.

not that this is new information for you.

[ProudBFan]

Originally Posted by MARIS61

She's shown her true colors by stealing money behind his back and you can bet she's had a lawyer for some time now so I'm afraid he's in for some more unpleasant surprises in the near future.

No surprises here, MARIS. I met with a lawyer back in January to find out what to expect if the worst were to happen (and yes, she knew I was going), and got the basic gist. I met with another lawyer last Monday (same time she was raiding the accounts) and got the same message. I know whats coming.

Can't believe your take on this.

Thought you were a "liberated woman" crandc?

You two need to get a room.

PBF

[Spud147]

Originally Posted by ProudBFan

Just got back from the bank (getting statements to see how our finances are doing).

My lovely, darling wife cleaned out all our accounts on Monday.

Sorry to disappoint you, crandc, but the gloves are off.

PBF

I'm so sorry B! All I can say about her account raiding is... what a jerk! For your own protection, call all of your credit card companies right now and close the accounts.

I have no experience with divorce at all but I agree with a lot of people here, the kids are the most important piece of this and when you criticize the other parent in front of them you're criticizing half their DNA. Feel free to share with us though... we really do care and you have a lot of friends here.

[Spud147]

Okay Maris, you know you are my absolute favorite dead baseball player but allow me to hop up on my soap box for a second.

Just because his wife "stayed home" doesn't mean she wasn't working hard all day too. I have a couple of friends who were stay at home moms for a while and both returned to the work place because they needed some relief At least you get a couple 15 minute breaks and a lunch hour. You might even get some verbal praise once in a while. I've seen them both in action and I can tell you that I would never be able to "stay home" with the kids without having a nervous breakdown.

[ProudBFan]

Originally Posted by Spud147

I'm so sorry B! All I can say about her account raiding is... what a jerk! For your own protection, call all of your credit card companies right now and close the accounts.

I have no experience with divorce at all but I agree with a lot of people here, the kids are the most important piece of this and when you criticize the other parent in front of them you're criticizing half their DNA. Feel free to share with us though... we really do care and you have a lot of friends here.

Thanks, Spud. I was kinda hoping you would show up.

The good news there is that the only credit card either of us has is hers. Originally got it for emergency use only, but who knows what shes doing with it now. Anyway, neither of us believes in living in debt, so other than that one we have stayed far away from credit cards. If shes running up a tab on hers, its her mess to deal with.

But, no, I will never bad-mouth her in front of the kids. Cant tell if she feels the same way, or will continue to feel the same way moving forward with this.

PBF

[MARIS61]

Originally Posted by Spud147

Okay Maris, you know you are my absolute favorite dead baseball player but allow me to hop up on my soap box for a second.

Just because his wife "stayed home" doesn't mean she wasn't working hard all day too. I have a couple of friends who were stay at home moms for a while and both returned to the work place because they needed some relief At least you get a couple 15 minute breaks and a lunch hour. You might even get some verbal praise once in a while. I've seen them both in action and I can tell you that I would never be able to "stay home" with the kids without having a nervous breakdown.

Did not mean to denigrate stay at home moms (or dads) who sacrifice a career to raise their children. My wife stayed home until the first day of kindergarten for our 2nd boy, and promptly took a job that day not because we needed the money but because she couldn't imagine sitting around watching soaps all day while they were in school. Unless PBF's kids are infants, which they may be for all I know, there is really no reason she can't work while they are at school to help provide for them.
I'm sure PBF will be willing to help care for them while she's at work whether she needs it or not.

My post was meant more as a viscious personal attack (like most of my posts are ) on a woman who has wronged one of my favorite posters and who seems to not have her children's welfare foremost in her thoughts.

[HAMMERHEAD]

Originally Posted by crandc

I have to disagree with B & B. Since PBF and his wife decided before the children arrived that she would be a stay at home mom, it would be wrong to punish her now for a joint decision. In fact that is what happened to my sister (no affair, just marriage went south); her husband said that since he'd worked he should not have to share. But she was working when they married, quit work at his insistence and unlike PBF's wife did 100% of the housekeeping and child-related activity.

I am glad to see PBF take the moral high ground. Not easy when what you really want to do is tell the whole world what you think of her and the shafting you got.

That was then, this is now. There is no reason why PBF shouldnt get joint custody (or even full custody) and pay ZERO child support. You think she should continue to live off his income even after the divorce? I dont think any of us are saying that she should get nothing, but it doesnt seem fair if she "gets half".

It sounds like she's having an affair, and you are glad to see him take the "moral high ground".

[ProudBFan]

The law isn't always "fair", HAMMERHEAD. Especially in single-income cases in which the father works (his butt off) and the mother is the primary, day-time caregiver for the children. Unfortunately, whether or not she has had / is having / wants to have an affair is of almost no consequence under Oregons's "no fault" divorce doctrine. I appreciate some of you feeling one level or another of anger over it, but it just isn't a consideration. I've had to put that emotional aspect behind me so it doesn't cloud my thinking about the things I need to think about at this point. And if it has you feeling angry, you should too.

I've already set up my own, seperate account and have redirected my paychecks to it (vs. our joint accounts). And I am taking possession of a wonderful, modern, well-maintained (almost new) apartment with amenities my kids will love when they are with me in a fantastic location (just a block away from the Streets of Tanasbourne) today (the managers were extremely understanding and accommodating), and will begin moving in tonight.

It will be a bumpy road for a while as we work out custody and financial issues, but in general it only gets better from here.

PBF

[B_&_B]

Originally Posted by ProudBFan

I've already set up my own, seperate account and have redirected my paychecks to it (vs. our joint accounts). And I am taking possession of a wonderful, modern, well-maintained (almost new) apartment with amenities my kids will love when they are with me in a fantastic location (just a block away from the Streets of Tanasbourne) today (the managers were extremely understanding and accommodating), and will begin moving in tonight.

It will be a bumpy road for a while as we work out custody and financial issues, but in general it only gets better from here.

PBF

Good news!