[Blazer Ringbearer]

She's probably just hanging out with friends and being a little bit "free" with the spending because she's trying to "get you back" somehow.

Not cool, but not particularly sinister either...

[RedHot&Rolling]

PBF-
I'm saddened by your news. I really liked some of the responses posted here, especially from BNM.

I'll add that LOVE is an action/verb not a feeling. Feelings come and go. Love your wife and kids, despite how you feel.

Secondly, I knew a family growing up that I've come to really admire. They divorced with 4 kids. The husband bought a travel trailer and parked it in the driveway, and lived there for 10+ years while the kids were growing up. He sacrificed himself, but stayed connected with the kids. He ate meals every day with them inside the house. The kids ended up pretty well adjusted, but not without scars caused by divorce and the distrust it breeds.

Again, I'm sorry to hear about the decision you and your wife have come to.

[ProudBFan]

Originally Posted by TLo

PBF,

You might be right, but I would be surprised if you were. That doesn't sound normal to me. I recommend that you don't try so hard to discover the "root problem." Just safeguard your assets and move on. In time all will be revealed.

That's what I'm doing, TLo. At this point, I don't particularly care (other than just being sad about it, and at some level wanting to know the truth for my own closure). Safeguarding the assets until the divorce is final is now my primary concern. I'm not looking to screw her, but I *am* looking to protect the kids, myself, and her from herself / these people. That's pretty much the bottom line.

PBF

[MARIS61]

The "money scheme" angle seems pretty thin, unless converting her and the kids to their religion is involved.

My nephew down in Sacramento has been going through a ten year harrassment by the New Hope Fellowship which has escalated to threats, violence, arrests and soon to be litigation from the ACLU, but that's a whole other thread source for the future.

The most likely scenario here is an 3-way affair involving your wife and the couple. Way more common than some people would think.

The most telling thing about your wife as a mother and where her priorities lay is her concern(?) "Her response was, "You're just looking for excuses to get more time with the kids!".

This seems to be the opposite of most divorcing mother's view. Most would be concerned the father would NOT be trying to spend more time with the kids. You may be facing quite a battle to protect your custody/visitation rights.

If there is some untoward relationship or scheme going on here which could be unhealthy or threatening to the children's welfare, it would give you ammo in full or primary custody.

[Oil Can]

PBF,

Like you, I was blindsided by a request for divorce 3 years ago.

I tried to find cause, and that is only human nature. It will be hard to take my advice, but the less you can think about the why's and who's the better. This thought process will tear you up.

In my case, my wife probably did have an affair. I do know that she was seeing a guy very shortly after I was out of the picture. You know what? It hurt some them, but I could absolutely care less now.

I hate to be the Pollyanna here, but man, there is a nothing but sunshine on the other side of this storm cloud you are passing through.

Do your best to stay positive. Do some selfish things for yourself. Take some risks. Live your life passionately and purposefully. This is the best poetic justice.

My ex-wife has contacted me a handful of times with hints of reconciliation and reconnecting. She says that she goofed....blah, blah, blah. I am cordial and kind to her......but no thanks!

My guess is that you will feel simalarly.

Keep yer chin up...

[e_blazer1]

PBF,

Like everybody else here, I'm sorry to hear about your problems. While it's probably theraputic in a sense to talk about this here, do please keep in mind that this is a public forum. I would imagine that your wife knows that you post here, so be cautious about what you say and how you say it or you could end up having your thoughts turn up in the divorce proceedings.

E_B

[TLo]

Originally Posted by e_blazer1

PBF,

Like everybody else here, I'm sorry to hear about your problems. While it's probably theraputic in a sense to talk about this here, do please keep in mind that this is a public forum. I would imagine that your wife knows that you post here, so be cautious about what you say and how you say it or you could end up having your thoughts turn up in the divorce proceedings.

E_B

Enter the Thread Killer!

[MARIS61]

Here's a nice resource for anyone with questions about legal issues, their rights...in many different fields of inquiry. Just good, basic, and best of all free information that can save you time and money, and sometimes, face.

http://public.findlaw.com/

[ProudBFan]

Just checking in from the coast. The kids and I are here with Grandma & Grandpa for a 4-day weekend away from all the... stuff. Weather is absolutely gorgeous here. Hope it holds.

PBF

[Talkhard]

Originally Posted by ProudBFan

I will post at least once a day to this thread starting today. If a day goes by and you don't see a post from me here, please contact the athorities.

I hate to be a cynic, but is this a joke? I'm starting to feel that you're pulling our leg a little, ProudBFan.

[RedHot&Rolling]

PFB - might be time for a new moniker/name!!

[MARIS61]

Originally Posted by ProudBFan

I will post at least once a day to this thread starting today. If a day goes by and you don't see a post from me here, please contact the athorities.

PBF

Anyone know how many days a message board poster has to miss posting before they consider him a missing poster?


Officer, I fear for my friend's safety. I haven't heard from him in days.

Description?

Hmmm.....well, he gets real cranky when the Blazers lose....

[ProudBFan]

Originally Posted by Talkhard

I hate to be a cynic, but is this a joke? I'm starting to feel that you're pulling our leg a little, ProudBFan.

No, no leg pulling going on here, Talkhard. My wife appears to be very much under the influence of those two. And if they are using her to supplement their income (whether or not she is a willing participant), there's no telling what they/she might do once reality sets in and she no longer has "extra" money to throw around / their way. Two words: Life insurance.

Yeah, it's probably a little bit of paranoia on my part, but I feel what I feel. With the exception of NBA officiating, I am a pretty level-headed guy with no history of bouts with paranoia. I am concerned about it. And I am choosing to discuss it here so there is some kind of trail should something happen to me.

BTW, she is the one who has (since I moved out at least) wanted this divorce, but now she is telling me I am the one who is going to have to file. She says (and I really don't have any reason to believe much of what she says anymore) that her lawyer will charge her an extra $900 for filing (on top of the $3500 she has already paid). My questions: 1) Why pay the lawyer a retainer if he isn't going to use it; 2) Originally, she told me her lawyer's hourly rate was $350, but now she is saying it's $204; 3) Seems to me she wants to be able to tell people that I am the one who wanted the divorce, since I was the one to file (since it doesn't really matter all that much - in the State of Oregon - which party files).

PBF