[Dan]

Originally Posted by MARIS61

Now we know why you get so grumpy.

the longer I am away from Idaho, the grumpier I get. I haven't been there since August. But I potentially get to go up there twice this summer (once with my sister and her family, which will be 2 of her kids first times up there).

[ProudBFan]

It's a "good news / bad news" day for me today.

Good news: Just got an $8K/year raise.

Bad news: My (soon-to-be-ex) wife will end up getting half of it or more.

PBF

[It's_GO_Time]

Originally Posted by ProudBFan

It's a "good news / bad news" day for me today.

Good news: Just got an $8K/year raise.

Bad news: My (soon-to-be-ex) wife will end up getting half of it or more.

PBF

Got to love (or have) yearly review time at Intel . . . get any options?

[ProudBFan]

Originally Posted by Kiss_My_Darius

Got to love (or have) yearly review time at Intel . . . get any options?

RSUs. Not enough to amount to a pile of beans at current prices, though. In fact, I'm pretty sure there's a way I can get her to pay me to keep 'em.

PBF

[Ed O]

Originally Posted by ProudBFan

It's a "good news / bad news" day for me today.

Good news: Just got an $8K/year raise.

Bad news: My (soon-to-be-ex) wife will end up getting half of it or more.

Better than a $4k/year raise she gets half of! Or a $0k/year raise she gets none of

Ed O.

[TLo]

Originally Posted by ProudBFan

It's a "good news / bad news" day for me today.

Good news: Just got an $8K/year raise.

Bad news: My (soon-to-be-ex) wife will end up getting half of it or more.

PBF

Congrats on the raise PBF! Fortunately she will get half of it for only a limited period of time.

[MARIS61]

Originally Posted by ProudBFan

It's a "good news / bad news" day for me today.

Good news: Just got an $8K/year raise.

Bad news: My (soon-to-be-ex) wife will end up getting half of it or more.

PBF

Not necessarily.

I suggest you put the entire $8,000 into an automatic payroll deducted, pre-tax trust fund for your children, to be paid out when they are say 25 years old.

If set up before the divorce is final I believe there is no way that this would be considered YOUR income, and therefore not hers either, since it is a common way to provide for your (both of yours) children's futures.

If done before the divorce is final, or better yet before it is FILED, this is no different than if you had set it up 10 years ago.

After the divorce you obviously will have less say about what you do with your money.

This is a good example of why you should not file yourself, but rather make her come up with the $ to file. It will buy you time to get your ducks in a row and maybe protect some of your finances. You have a window of opportunity now that you will never have again.

[It's_GO_Time]

Originally Posted by MARIS61

Not necessarily.

I suggest you put the entire $8,000 into an automatic payroll deducted, pre-tax trust fund for your children, to be paid out when they are say 25 years old.

If set up before the divorce is final I believe there is no way that this would be considered YOUR income, and therefore not hers either, since it is a common way to provide for your (both of yours) children's futures.

If done before the divorce is final, or better yet before it is FILED, this is no different than if you had set it up 10 years ago.

After the divorce you obviously will have less say about what you do with your money.

This is a good example of why you should not file yourself, but rather make her come up with the $ to file. It will buy you time to get your ducks in a row and maybe protect some of your finances. You have a window of opportunity now that you will never have again.

[My bad]

[ProudBFan]

Nice...

Just found out that my wife stopped all payments into my IRA way back in November.

Gotta go check the status of all my options & shares. At this point, I highly suspect she's raided them as well. Oh, and that credit card is suddenly a huge cause for concern.

To date, she:

1. Stopped payments to my IRA in November without telling me.
2. Closed her IRA and withdrew all funds from it in March without telling me.
3. Substantially emptied our joint checking account in March without telling me.
4. Substantially emptied our joint savings account in March without telling me.
5. Not yet paid off the car loan she said she closed her IRA to pay off.

Just keeps getting better and better.

PBF

[TLo]

Originally Posted by ProudBFan

Nice...

Just found out that my wife stopped all payments into my IRA way back in November.

Gotta go check the status of all my options & shares. At this point, I highly suspect she's raided them as well. Oh, and that credit card is suddenly a huge cause for concern.

To date, she:

1. Stopped payments to my IRA in November without telling me.
2. Closed her IRA and withdrew all funds from it in March without telling me.
3. Substantially emptied our joint checking account in March without telling me.
4. Substantially emptied our joint savings account in March without telling me.
5. Not yet paid off the car loan she said she closed her IRA to pay off.

Just keeps getting better and better.

PBF

Weird. She's got issues.

[MARIS61]

I suspect a drug habit, which would explain her "friends" and her actions.

You really need to be fully open with your attorney to protect your children and what $ you have left.

Your credit rating is next, unless you make the payments on everything your name is on which I assume includes her car.

If it's ONLY in your name I'd sell it tomorrow and pay it off.

It's clear she is out to rape you financially.

[zagsfan20]

Maybe a gambling habit? They are a lot more common then people think. I can think of a couple people who I know, including a relative who have had a gambling addiction.

[trifecta]

Originally Posted by MARIS61

There is no "high road" left to take here, other than in your behaviour around your kids, which I assume is fine. Either you let your attorney aggressively defend you, your relationship with your children, and your finances which your children rely on, or you will be left with no finances and no relationship with your children.

You should inform your attorney of your suspicions. He has the resources to confirm or deny them.

Sorry to hear about this PBF. I don't post here as often as I once did but I still check in and I hate to hear about something like this happening to anyone.

Unfortunately I have some experience in this and all I can say is that this is very, very good advice.

You may want to take the high road with things and in some areas, you absolutely should. Always make your kids first priority and treat your ex with respect - especially in front of the kids. Financial issues are different. Remember that after the divorce is finalized, you can ALWAYS give more if you think the resolution wasn't fair for whatever reasons.

I can't tell you how bad things can get if one party has an attorney who is trying to 'settle things amicably' and the other has an attorney that is going for blood. Seriously - a divorce is not the time to prove to your ex what a nice guy your are.

If your wife is going to be negative about you with the kids, she will regardless of how much she gets in court.

Take care of yourself and best of luck with everything.