Canzano. This team wouldn't be what it is without him. We would have been stuck winning 50+ games per year for the last 5 years.
Put him in Ben Franklin garb, feverishly scribbling 5-word paragraphs with a feather pen. Face his golden shaved head toward the rising Sun so that it burns a reflected beam of brilliance into an adjacent Wall of Blazer Sins, copies of whose engravings grieving families etch onto paper. The Wall should dip 10 feet below the ground like the Vietnam Memorial in D.C. Every morning at dawn, the real Canzano will lead a Druid worship service wailing over player transgressions.