futuristxen

boggle.

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Click here to go directly to issue EIGHT!

T.Shock

Boring match. Just painful to watch. I like Liverpool too, but this was hard to stomach. Gerrard's passing was all over the place. Minus Nesta, the AC Milan backline should've been ashamed of themselves. Likewise Liverpool should've been ashamed for not scoring a goal until the 89th minute. Somebody else said that Benitez should've brought on Crouch. He did in the 80th minute, though. Waited too long to start attacking. Inzaghi had a superb match. Got enough of that Pirlo free kick to deflect it in and that second goal was just a great run. I don't hate Milan largely because Gattuso is nasty and Kaka can do so many wonderous things, but overall this match just put me to sleep. I started reading my weekly comic books during it.

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Mr. Burns: For those of you whose names aren't on the list. I'm very disappointed in you. Something was lacking...let's call it heart.
Darryl Strawberry: No hustle either skip.
Mr. Burns: That's right Darryl.

ChicagoCubsFanClub: Wait 'Til Next Year
1.T.Shock(President)/2.ViciousFlogging(Vice Generalisimo)/3.CoolHandLuke(Executive In Charge Of Prospect Trading)/4.Bartholomew Hunt(Liazon To The Ambassador Of Drunk Fans)/5.Lets_Play_2(Representative Of Mr. Cub)/6.Lynx(Assistant To The Traveling Secretary)/7.Future(Honorary Captain Of The 2009 World Champion Cubs)/8.MillerTime(Reggie's Butler)/9.King Joseus(Royal Liege Of Waveland)/10.Jesus Of CopyMat(Druid Of The Ivy)/11.DaBullz(Director Of Cubs Suffering Historical Society*Co-Chaired With Teddy Roosevelt)/12.TomBoerwinkle#1(Official Scriptwriter to Mr. Lee Elia)/13.Spud(Steve Bartman's Younger Brother Lemmy)/14.PC Load Letter(Intern Who Makes 1000 Copies Of Derrek Lee's New Contract)/15.ndistops(Ryan Dempster's Joke Writer)/16.John Wayne(Cubs Fan In Nothing But Cowboy Boots)/17.BenDengGo(Ambassador For The First Ever English Cubs Play)

narrator

I'm glad to see Benitez took my advice in the 82nd MINUTE! *******!

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"If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this is useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned."