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Old 06-04-2012, 06:31 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Question RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

Here's another one.

Have you ever cheated on your girlfriend? Have you ever been cheated on? If you did the cheating, what was your reasoning in the moment? If you got cheated on, how did you react? Have you ever been in a relationship that survived a cheating situation after the other party found out about it? If so, what were those circumstances?
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Old 06-04-2012, 09:48 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

I've cheated and been cheated on.

The girl who cheated on me I was really, really into. So understandably, I was gutted. I tried to forgive her and just carry on with the relationship but it just wouldn't work. All trust had gone so whenever she was doing anything without me there, I was paranoid.

The fact that I was so gutted makes it all even worse that I then did it myself. The girl I cheated on was my girlfriend of 5 years (on and off) that I broke up with a couple months back. I still haven't told her, and it was multiple times. Coincidentally, one of the times was with the girl who cheated on me before. It was obviously a sign that I was bored with the relationship, but I still didn't break up with her for a few months afterwards, probably because I found it difficult to just end a relationship of so long.

My reasoning in the moment? No, alcohol isn't an excuse. Yes, it's a very bad influence. I was shitfaced drunk each time I cheated, and because the relationship was getting boring, I gave into temptation.
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Old 06-04-2012, 10:02 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

Been cheated on and cheated on somebody. Also fooled around with girls who had boyfriends, so I've definitely been involved with every aspect of cheating.

Obviously getting cheated on hurts, there's really no other way to take it I think. Unless you were looking for an out anyways, but I still imagine that can't feel good. When my girlfriend cheated on me we were floating around in limbo for a few weeks, but we were living in different towns and she ended up ****ing down there because we weren't really anything at that point. We were broken up for probably about 6 months, and in that time I found another girl. I sort of got suckered into dating her (was in a different mindset, and she 100% used sex as a tool to get what she wanted...crazy bitch, sexy girl though ). Anyways, she lived a couple hours away and I actually was totally faithful to her with every other girl except my ex. Even her we hung out a few times and I was like nah, I can see you want more but it's not happening. Of course when you're dealing with scorpion women, they will eventually get what they want. I tried breaking it off with the girl I was dating at the time but she basically just kept saying no and that it would be better once school was done. Of course that wasn't the issue, but eventually I ended up cheating on her with my ex. The girl said she didn't even care and she actually expected it, even to the very bitter end she was begging me not to leave.

Of course karma wasn't going to let me off that easy, though. Once I got back with my ex she cheated on me about a month or two into getting back together, but the trick is she didn't tell me about it for roughly 8 months (she never got caught though, just felt guilty and confessed). In that 8 months we had ended up moving back in together, and things were sincerely good. Damn near flawless type of good, so when she told me I had to decide what was more important. Cheating on me in the beginning stages of a rocky restart to the relationship, or the giant chunk of time where things were about as good as they could have been? I opted to stay in the relationship, but the nerves definitely still get to me. She's been in Ireland for about a week and a half now and there's been a lot of unpleasant thoughts, but then again it's whatever. Can't dwell on what you don't know/can't control.
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Old 06-04-2012, 11:12 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

I've made out with girls that have boyfriends and I have been cheated on, but I have never cheated.
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Old 06-04-2012, 12:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

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Once I got back with my ex she cheated on me about a month or two into getting back together, but the trick is she didn't tell me about it for roughly 8 months (she never got caught though, just felt guilty and confessed). In that 8 months we had ended up moving back in together, and things were sincerely good. Damn near flawless type of good, so when she told me I had to decide what was more important. Cheating on me in the beginning stages of a rocky restart to the relationship, or the giant chunk of time where things were about as good as they could have been? I opted to stay in the relationship, but the nerves definitely still get to me. She's been in Ireland for about a week and a half now and there's been a lot of unpleasant thoughts, but then again it's whatever. Can't dwell on what you don't know/can't control.
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The girl who cheated on me I was really, really into. So understandably, I was gutted. I tried to forgive her and just carry on with the relationship but it just wouldn't work. All trust had gone so whenever she was doing anything without me there, I was paranoid.
If you decide to tough it out rather than call it off, how do you deal with that paranoia monster in the back of your mind?
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Old 06-04-2012, 12:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

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If you decide to tough it out rather than call it off, how do you deal with that paranoia monster in the back of your mind?
Day by day, I suppose. Either the trust slowly gets built back up or the relationship dissolves. If you think that person is worth sticking by despite their mistakes, then to you they probably are. So even though I might get into my own head sometimes, it's basically just blind faith that she's doing the right thing when I'm not around.
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Old 06-04-2012, 02:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

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If you decide to tough it out rather than call it off, how do you deal with that paranoia monster in the back of your mind?
You've got to start from scratch I guess. It didn't work in mine, and that's why it ended. I think this is one of those things where different people will deal with it in different ways.
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Old 07-28-2012, 06:33 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

Definitely experienced both sides of the equation, in different ways. I had a high school girlfriend confess to me that she'd cheated, and I was just ticked off more than outraged or deeply hurt. That just told me that it was time to move on from that relationship.
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Old 07-28-2012, 06:37 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

Episodes of my doing the cheating never involved sex per se, but either impulsive episodes of making out with one woman while seriously involved with another. I usually felt like a schmuck about it afterward, and eventually would get around to realizing that: a) I needed to develop better impulse control, and b) I needed to treat women who liked or loved me much better.

Another situation developed much later in life, and was both more serious and largely unfolded on an emotional basis.
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

Cheating is never okay. I've never cheated nor have I been cheated on.
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Old 07-26-2013, 11:18 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

Same here.
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Old 07-31-2013, 07:51 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Question Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlakeJesus View Post
I opted to stay in the relationship, but the nerves definitely still get to me. She's been in Ireland for about a week and a half now and there's been a lot of unpleasant thoughts, but then again it's whatever. Can't dwell on what you don't know/can't control.
How did this turn out?
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RWE's Random Questions: (Close Friends, Virginity, Home-Schooling, Wiretapping, Cheating, Piracy, Reality TV)
RWE's Movie Rankings: (Coen Brothers, Stanley Kubrick, Top 90 of the 90's)
RWE's Underground Update - RWE's SciFi Corner
RWE's Smash Central - RWE's Culinary Cul de Sac

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Old 08-12-2013, 03:17 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

Never cheated on any Girlfriend. And don't see myself ever doing it. I don't see the point in it, if you're that unhappy then you shouldn't be with that person.

I have been "cheated" on. Only reason for the quotes is sex wasn't involved. There was kissing and emotional feelings. I'm not sure if that is better or worse than sleeping with the person or not.

As for the questions, I reacted.... pretty damn well to be honest. I was mad and of course had some serious trust issues. But I never yelled at her, I stayed calm and did my best to work through it. Trust issues were the biggest problem. I went through her phone and read her texts with the guy and did it a few times over a long course of time. I would use that information to ask her questions to see if she would be honest, which she wasn't, I eventually (just recently actually) came clean and told her about it because similar behavior had started back up and she was having mixed emotions with an ex. Again, I reacted pretty well I think. I mean going through texts maybe wasn't the right way to handle it but I think I was justified but I took responsibility for that. Other than that I, again, didn't yell or scream just had major trust issues.

So far we have survived. Been together almost 3 years now. I still have trusts issues, of course, and thoughts/concerns go through my mind and it's hard as hell to push them back and try and force myself to trust her again. It's a bumpy road but so far we've made it through it. Time will tell.
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Old 08-12-2013, 03:22 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

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How did this turn out?
Far as I can tell they are doing great. They just moved into a place of their own earlier this summer.
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Old 08-12-2013, 03:23 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Re: RWE's Random Questions, Part 5

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Day by day, I suppose. Either the trust slowly gets built back up or the relationship dissolves. If you think that person is worth sticking by despite their mistakes, then to you they probably are. So even though I might get into my own head sometimes, it's basically just blind faith that she's doing the right thing when I'm not around.
Couldn't agree more.

That nagging feeling every time she's going out without really sucks. But really you just have to make a decision and force your way through.
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