Professional and College Basketball Forums banner

1 - 2 of 2 Posts

64 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
First of all, there's been a lot of talk bandied about, about how Johnny Pax is trying to shape the team in his own image. But is his image really the image we want for the team? Do we need a lot of smallish jumpshooters? Are Brent and Jon Barry next in line for the Bulls?

Our current situation calls for cool heads and smart minds. Let me make a small digression here to prove my point. Anyone who's ever played Nintendo Ice Hockey knows that you can choose three types of players, skinnys, middles, and fatties, for your three player team. Your choice of team is like a psychological profile of yourself. All skinnys? Give me a break. Three middles? No creativity and risk taking ability. All real players knew you needed at least two fatties for your team to succeed. Fatties brought toughness, power, and heart.

The NBA equivalent of fatties are players over seven feet tall. We only have one of these, Tyson Chandler, and he has been hurt, therefore the team has suffered. It is time to renew the Bulls, with an infusion of height.

We must take these steps now:
1. trade a bag of rusty nails and Rick Brunson to Indiana for Johnny Bender. Indy does this deal with no hesistation.
2. Antonio Davis to Dallas for Shawn Bradley. He is the TALLEST PLAYER in the NBA!
3. Jamal Crawford to Denver for Skita and a mystery player ????
Skita is also seven feet.
4. Trade Kendall Gill to the Clippers for this huge 7-2 guy who's on their injured list.
5. Marcus Fizer to the suns for Lampje. That's right, he's seven feet.
6. Sign Manute Bol to a ten day contract. Did you see celebrity boxing? The man can still play

Then in the draft draft Pavel the big russian and trade curry (only 6'11, sorry) for the rights to Ivan Chiarev, a 7'1 shooting guard. Also trade Kirk (only 6'3, not very impressive at all) for the rights to that huge Korean dude.

Oh yeah, dupree for wang zhi zhi. Cut everybody else. People under 7'0 only detract from intimidation factor of team photo.
Our lineup next year is unstoppable! Just look at the depth chart:

Bradley 7'6 Bol 7'7 Korean dude 7'3 Clippers guy 7'2
Pavel 7'5 Chandler 7'1 Lampe 7'0
Chandler 7'1 Skita 7'0 Lampe 7'0 Chivarev 7'1
Bender 7'0 Chivarev 7'1
Mystery Man, Zhizhi 7'2, Chivarev 7'1

Who is the mystery man? Well, he is the exception that proves the rule, my friends, the only NBA player in the league who could possibly defeat the "Tall"eraBulls: Earl Boydkins!

Our offense would revolve around Earl using our big men as picks running through their legs,m the "Triangle Nutmeg" Offense. We would be unstoppable and immensely entertaining. We could even buy oversized bench seats for all the big guys, so Earl's legs would dangle.

And I can write this, because I'm a 6'11 rebound machine trapped in a 5'9, Khalid El-Amin body with no hops...


Reverse Psychologist
2,553 Posts
I thought you said we wanted fatties...

1.) Crawford and Hinrich to the Hornets for Davis and Traylor

2.) Chandler to Utah for Ostertag

3.) Our pick to Indiana for Artest

PG-Davis (223lb)
SG-Artest (246)
SF-Fizer (260...maybe)
PF-Curry (285)
C-Ostertag (280)

1 - 2 of 2 Posts