Golden State Warriors center Adonal Foyle shocked fans and management today by demanding a trade. Initially he refused to say where he wanted to go, but said that he wanted to play for a contender.
“I’ve been working my guts out, night in, night out for this franchise, and it’s about time I won a championship. I’m fed up with playing on a losing team. If I don’t get traded, I’m not going to turn up for training camp. I mean it.”
The response from the Warriors brass was immediate. “We feel sorry for Adonal. He’s been the lynchpin of this franchise for the last 6 years, averaging nearly 4 points per game for his career. It’s about time he got the position he deserves. He obviously didn’t mean to sign the 6 year, $52 million contract he just signed with us. We can’t expect him stay here all that time for such a paltry wage, considering how crappy our management is. He owes us nothing.”
A tearful fan told us, “I can’t believe he’s leaving us! I’ve never heard of a player making these kinds of demands before. It’s unheard of! Besides, I just got a new tattoo – Foyle ‘n Warriors, NBA Champions 2006”.
Another fan was more understanding. “It’s only fair that he moves on. A player of his caliber should be on a team contending for the title. I just hope we get someone just as decent in return. Primoz Brezec, say. How can we possibly run a training camp without him? The management must respect his wishes and act as soon as they can. Why should they decide his future, for goodness sake?”
Mark Cuban immediately expressed interest in the 7 footer: “We’re looking to shore up our center position. We can use him as a backup behind Erick Dampier, Shawn Bradley, Evan Eschmeyer, Pavel Podkolzine, Calvin Booth, and Didier Ilunga-Mbenga. We’re even prepared to send them Dan Dickau back in return.”
Knicks GM Isaiah Thomas has also expressed an interest. “We’re looking to obtain a few more long-term contracts to get our roster settled. Adonal is the sort of value-for-money player we’ve been after for ages. He can take us up to the next level and bring the glory years back to the Garden.”
But it won’t be all plain sailing for the future All-Star. League rules prevent players who have just signed free agent contracts from being traded for 90 days. NBA Commissioner David Stern made a statement this afternoon “We’re prepared to relax the rules in this instance. We’re well aware of the marketing potential of an Adonal Foyle San Antonio Spurs jersey, and will stop at nothing to maximise the marketing potential of the players we own.”