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What a ***, he gets no minutes and he has the balls to talk **** about other teams, taht have achieved more than he ever will.
 

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thug_immortal8 said:
What a ***, he gets no minutes and he has the balls to talk **** about other teams, taht have achieved more than he ever will.
Well, I don't know how much the Charlotte Bobcats or Atlanta Hawks have accomplished... but that's kind of the point.

His observations of others and paradoy of himself are brilliant.

The fact that I am here and available for poker games on the Phoenix Suns’ charter plane (along with being theoretically available to play in basketball games) is a little remarkable. All it took was my return from a two-month hiatus in Russia, a trade by the Suns that sent away Casey and two others, and the Suns’ subsequent need for a warm body to keep the bench from tipping toward the coaches.
I play for (I use the term loosely; play for/cheer for—same thing) arguably the best basketball team in the world. My responsibilities include:

1. Showing up for buses, practices, games, etc. on time.
2. Refraining from causing undue stress to anyone by misbehaving on road trips or wading into the stands to attack fans.
3. Practicing hard when given the opportunity.
4. Entering games when my team is up by an insurmountable margin and attempting to break the shots-per-minute record.

It is not a difficult job.
I had several Gun In Mouth Moments tonight—most of them caused by some bad nicknames. Gun In Mouth Moments (GIMM’s) are defined as points in my life when, if I were carrying a gun at the time, I would have to consider putting it in my mouth and ending it all so as to avoid dealing with the further downward spiral of our culture. The first GIMM arrived with the announcement of the starting line-ups. Here’s the deal: When, after 60 games, the team being announced has a winning percentage hovering around the same area as most pitchers’ batting averages, it loses the right to a grand entrance. No more dance team, no more theme song, no more dimming the lights. The players just walk onto the court and play the game. That’s it. The Hawks did not agree to my deal. They had an over-produced introduction on the big screen, an actual hawk that flew down from the rafters, and even a catch-phrase—something like, “The Spirit Lies Within.” Make it stop.

My other GIMM's occurred each time either of the Hawks’ rookie Josh’s was announced for scoring a basket. Apparently, someone decided that saying Josh Smith or Josh Childress was just not going to be sufficient. So instead, each time Josh Smith scores, the crowd is treated to, “J-Smooth for two.” When it is Childress, out comes, “J-Chill with the assist.” An analysis of this situation that does not include profanity escapes me, so I will not even try.
He's great.
 

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I had no idea Shirley was this funny.

By the end of any game, I will usually have scouted the crowd for the most outlandish outfit being perpetrated upon those in attendance, rated the looks of each member of the dance team, and come up with life stories for half of the first row.
Awesome!
 

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Is this sum kind of joke? Or is he being serious?

I wonder if Phoenix's directives are actually reading this.
 

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tempe showed this to me yesterday, almost died laughing. He's a great guy, so what if he isn't that good a player, we're not good players either yet we bash NBA players.
 

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Sad Mafioso said:
Is this sum kind of joke? Or is he being serious?

I wonder if Phoenix's directives are actually reading this.
He's just trying to be creative and funny... and so what if he offends the management at all... what are they going to do? Punish him by keeping him out of games? LOL!

And as for this comment:

What a ***, he gets no minutes and he has the balls to talk **** about other teams, taht have achieved more than he ever will
Tell me... what have the Bobcats and/or Hawks accomplished this year except being two worst teams in the league? Shirley's wit is worth more than the price of admission to seeing either of those teams play.

And don't kid yourself... Shirley has no ego at all.. in fact he makes fun of himself regularly.

I really could see Shirley becoming a comlumnist when his NBA career is over.
 

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Soon after Mike burst onto the scene, we changed the channel of the television nearest us to the same one being viewed by Big Earv (and I mean Big: regarding the progression of HIV, someone must have been misleading us back in high school health class).
Highly insensitive. Magic works hard to fight HIV and crap like that is insulting.
 
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Discussion Starter #18
New update today:

Anyhoo, a day off is always a good idea, in my book. If I were a slightly more conscientious basketball player, I would have used the extra time to do some weightlifting or conditioning. Since I am not, I went to the beach.
What I love about his writing is he says the exact same type of things I and other fans say when watching games, all the while marveling at his own ability to stay in the league.
 

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*adds Shirley to favorite players in profile*
I don't like the Magic comments, but everything else is hilarious.
 

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Well it's not like it is a secret that Magic has HIV, and that he also works hard to stay healthy. I think what Shirley was trying to show to his audience was Magic's constant struggle. Nothing more, nothing less. No need to get offended.
 
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