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Today is February 3rd. The Knicks just signed DerMarr Johnson to a 10 day contract.

On February 13th the Knicks will sign DerMarr Johnson to a 2nd 10 day contract.

On February 19th at the trading deadline, Vin Baker is dealt for Kurt Thomas, Shandon Anderson, and Frank Williams.

On February 23rd the Knicks will sign DerMarr Johnson for the remainder of the season.

On March 3rd, Houston, Penny, and DMJ will be holding hands and will all suddenly fall down the stairs simultaneously at MSG, giving all three career threatening injuries.

On March 9th Vin Baker will get depressed and drink himself to death.

On March 11th the Knicks will receive a grievance exception and announce they plan to use it on Eddie Griffin, who will have been cut by the Nets by then. Hearing this news on TV, Griffin will attempt to break out of jail rather than confirm it with his agent first, and will be taken down by a hail of bullets either from prison guards or from the first friend he meets on the street.

On March 13th the Knicks, instead of bringing in Griffin's dead carcass, will sign Bruno Sundov with the exception.

On March 14th, Rasheed Wallace, seeing an opening for him on the team, will put a knife to Paul Allen's neck, threatening to kill him if he does not waive him. By then the Knicks will have a bad enough record that they are able to claim Rasheed off waivers and be highest in priority.

On April 1st, Rasheed threatens to attack Lenny Wilkins with a towel. Lenny thinks he is kidding, and has a heart attack when Rasheed follows through on his threat/promise. Rasheed proclaims himself head coach and starts handing out dimes. No, the other dimes.

April 2nd. Rasheed announces that the media has blown everything out of proportion because they are (expletive deleted) retarded (expletive deleted) heads. It was just April Fools confusion. For one, Lenny Wilkins is not dead, he's in a coma. And two, Rasheed was just kidding about proclaiming himself coach. Isiah walks down to the podium and announces that he is the new head coach of the NY Knicks. The Knicks will go on a tear under Zeke, going 6-5 in their final 11 games to make it as the 8th seed.

On April 30th, the Knicks will be swept from the playoffs by first seed Detroit, in one of the worst coached series' by a team ever (and you thought last year's Pacers series coaching was bad?). The Knicks will lose by an average of 20 points per game. Van Horn will play 5 minutes the entire series as Wallace pulls down a monster 6 rebounds per game, while Marbury shoots 35%, 12% on 3's. Isiah will then take shots at Joe Dumars, branding him a shoddy executive, and lucky.

On June 15th the Celtics will defeat the T'Wolves in the NBA Finals as Shandon Anderson and Kurt Thomas pull their best imitations of Havlicek and Russell.

On June 28th the Suns will draft 7'3 Ha Seung Jin with the Knicks 1st round pick. Meanwhile Dikembe Mutombo will announce his retirement, Michael Doleac will leave via free agency, and the Knicks will be left with Cezery Trybanski and Bruno Sundov at center.

On August 1st Isiah Thomas will sign Damon Stoudamire with the mid-level exception, for 5 years.

On October 31st the Knicks and Isiah Thomas will begin their next playoff run.
 
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