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Discussion Starter #1
Okay, this thread is for you to tell your best (or worst) jokes.

Only rules:
-Please try to not take any offense. They are just jokes, and you may not like some, but just try and not get upset about it.
-Only one joke at a time, its just easier to read them that way.

Thats it. So let the fun begin.
 

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*Whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

*45 lbs.

-Petey
 

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Originally posted by <b>ToddMacCulloch11</b>!
If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you get out of the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom?

european (say it out loud)

Its dumb, I know:)
Haha, very good buddy.

Here's another:


*How many woman does it take to change a light bulb?

*None, they just sit around a complain and whine about it.

-Petey
 

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*Why does Mike Tyson cry on dates?

*Pepper spray hurts!

-Petey
 

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Heres a classic you're so ugly joke:

You are so ugly the last time you got a piece of *** was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.

-Petey
 

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Originally posted by <b>TicN9neZ8</b>!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?


-A Stick
Haha that's pretty funny.

I've also heard a few different versions of jokes like that.

-Petey
 

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-3rd grader stop at the news stand. A red head, a brunette and a blonde go up to the vendor and ask for a pack of smokes. Only the blonde walks away with a pack. Why so?

-Because the blonde is 23.

-Petey
 

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Discussion Starter #14
There are these three guys trying to get into this secret club. After passing the rest of their tests, the leader of the group tells them that the final test is to not have sex with their wives for 6 months. All the men agree to attempt to complete this task and leave.

6 months pass and the first man returns. He says "At times it was very hard to resist, but I did" and the leader says "Congratulations, you are now a member".

The second man returns and he said "I almost had to give in, but I held out the whole time" and the leader says "Congratulations, you are now a member".

The third man returns and says "I'm sorry. I gave in. The other day she dropped a head of lettuce and when she bent over to pick it up, I just couldn't resist and we had sex right there" and the leader said "Oh, well I am very sorry. You can not be a member, but you can try again in a year". So the third guy says "Oh, great! Thats a lot better then what they said to us at A&P."
 

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Originally posted by <b>ToddMacCulloch11</b>!
"Oh, well I am very sorry. You can not be a member, but you can try again in a year". So the third guy says "Oh, great! Thats a lot better then what they said to us at A&P."
Haha, I haven't seen an A&P in years.

-Petey
 

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Petey is straight...


Peace, dude! :grinning:
 

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Originally posted by <b>gian</b>!
Petey is straight...


Peace, dude! :grinning:
That's no joke.

-Petey
 

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In a park there are two statues, one of a man and the other of a woman. An angel decides that the statues have been staring at eachother for too long so he goes down and magically makes them living. he tells them "Ok you two you have ten minutes to do whatever you want." so the two statues find a large bush and both go inside it. About 5 minutes later they both come out. the angel says "you still have 5 more minutes." so then the male statue says to the female statue, "ok how bout i hold the pigeon down while you **** on it"
 

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Originally posted by <b>theycallmemattmo</b>!
In a park there are two statues, one of a man and the other of a woman. An angel decides that the statues have been staring at eachother for too long so he goes down and magically makes them living. he tells them "Ok you two you have ten minutes to do whatever you want." so the two statues find a large bush and both go inside it. About 5 minutes later they both come out. the angel says "you still have 5 more minutes." so then the male statue says to the female statue, "ok how bout i hold the pigeon down while you **** on it"

Hahaha, pretty sweet.

-Petey
 
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